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RE: I want to write... but I'm too disgusted with myself to begin...

in #life7 years ago

Hello. I'm brand new here. I found you @ed of the outerdark. I was thinking about the frustration you described and thought of times when I have felt similarly. Many times I have felt frustrated and confused about a direction feeling that I should do more somehow or differently or something. Creativity becomes rote and motivation is low. What ususally happens with me if I hang in there is there is some kind of breakthrough in my thinking or I meet a new person or find a new outlet which gives rise to a new creative burst. I think of it now as a natural organic process like a plant growing. New growth over time becomes old turns to wood. Its not sexy but it is the base out of which the new growth springs. It still sucks every time and can create anxiety and doubt. But in my mind and heart there is a reason and purpose for us all that is bigger than our egoic sense of self. This unique purpose lies in us just as a mighty oak tree lies within an acorn. Our main job is to be still and let it happen, i think. At least that is how I try to manage these times. The old stuff has to die in order to make room for the new. The struggle and search provides the energy and material for the new growth just ahead. So when I read this post my first thought was that guy is about to have a cool creative breakthrough. Good journey brother.