This was a great post, you went in so personal and shared such a heavy experience. I understand how lucky you must feel to have had that doctor! Unfortunately, not everyone gets the mental health care that they need.
I can relate to loving depression. It's strange, yet, being sad and sulking was much more pleasant than joy. Joy was overrated. There is something soothing over being depressed. Especially when you suffer from panic and anxiety; depressed moments feel so still and calming.
I really admire your bravery in sharing. It sucks that a lot of people have to suffer from social stigma because of their mental health. You are a great example that recovery is possible, so labelling people for life is simply not useful.
I am one of those people who if they do not like their doctor, go and find a new one :)
No one will help you if you do not take responsibility and help yourself. Recovery is possible, as you say, but only with determination. I have seen a lot of people give up on themselves because they lacked willpower.
Thank you for your lovely comment.
Yeah, I say this to so many people. If your doctor isn't good for you (maybe he's the best doctor, but you still don't get along or he doesn't understand you), find someone else. Especially in psychology, there are so many people with different approaches. Find one that suits you and helps you be comfortable with them. Although it is up to the person, unfortunately, 'bad' doctors can hinder and make your situation worse.