The topic of trust is an important factor in all matters of the heart – and here’s why. Men lie to women. Women lie to men. And most people agree that some lying is even necessary – to avoid petty squabbles and to grease the wheels of a relationship.
Ask a Counselor
The number one reason why men frequently and repeatedly lie to women is to help these women maintain their delusional fantasies of the “ideal man,” and why men think they can get away with it.
Here is what I would categorize as the top 6 most frequently repeated lies that men tell to women:
- “I like all your friends a lot”
It’s rare for a guy to like all your friends. He might get along with some, sure, but there’s always one that just drives him crazy. For the record, it may be something bigger than the fact that her voice annoys him.
“Me? I graduated top of my class”
This is a classic case of the runaway male ego, designed to present a man in the best light and impress a woman. When the lies continue into marriage, it’s not long before the truth will out.“Why do I have two cell phones?”
Well, one is for friends and one is for family, close friends, and business.” Some men genuinely do have a personal mobile phone and a work mobile phone. I’ve had that myself a few times before. But beware the man who just use this to brag about.
“Honey, you’re the best”
One of the most lied-about subjects has to be sex. Perhaps that’s because it’s the area where we are most vulnerable. Here again, men are likely to lie.In the first rush of romance, it makes sense for a man to engage in exaggerated praise of a woman’s beauty and sexuality. But “you’re the best” lies can paralyze a relationship.“I have no idea why my ex is texting me”
It’s because they’re still in semi-regular touch. In fact, she might just be replying to his text from earlier. That might not be a big deal to you (I’m friendly or friends with most of my exes) or it might.
6.”I will be there in 5 minutes”
I’m just about to finish my drink then I’m coming home. The drink is about to be ordered, poured, or just arrived on the bar. In other words, don’t hold your breath. He’s more of a sipper than a chugger.
Real intimacy is only possible to the degree that we can be honest about what we are doing and feeling. When lying comes to predominate in a marriage, the relationship begins to deteriorate. A husband and wife can sense the trust erode, and feel their hearts growing colder.
The healing oxygen is the truth. A woman who is hearing too many lies needs to have a serious discussion with her husband. She should stress she’s ready to listen, and ask him to present his thoughts in a caring manner.