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7 years ago in #life by practicalthought (67)
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I found the best way for me to become myself more was to get out of most previous commitments I had made and stop working for a year (I was lucky to be in a positiion to do that). In this quiet period, I was bored sometimes. However, I was able to slowly incorporate things into my life that mean much more to me. I now have a life that is more aligned with my true self.
That is awesome you were able to find a balance. So many feel trapped in the routines we are corralled into. Has the juicing helped the rest of your family with finding balance as well? I know not everyone is alike, so it is possible I know that your husband might be a workaholic who dreads downtime. I can be like that if I see things need doing (which unfortunately can seem a never ending list) but down/alone time is crucial for rejuvenation.
Sorry for the late reply; I am only on Steemit every few days or so. Everyone in my family including my husband craves a bit of alone time as we are all introverts. So we try to accomodate each other with our schedules and find our balance.
No worries. I too will be away from Steemit when I move, so understand completely. I wil be away for possibly a couple of weeks as I wind everything down here and then get there and get things in order.
It is good you all have found a balance. I think many men have often over the years forged out that space in the garage, using the pretense of working on things to be there. My grandpa did that and went fishing a lot. I made the mistake once as a child of going with him and I couldn't believe one would want to sit in a small boat for most of a day without talking. Boring, lol. But that was something he loved and was usually alone to do.
Powerful writing there. Heartfelt... no pun intended.
I was at a mens retreat last week. One of my favorite events of the year. we reveal our hearts to each other...well at least some of us do, and I give credit to most of the others who are learning how. But anyway, what a treasure to be known, to be heard, to be loved.
Blessings.
It sounds like a great event. I am glad you got to bond and share with others who are open. Most men I have associated with have been hard men, although I have been surprised since my teens how many hard men have opened up to me when we were alone. Of course, never mentioned when around others.
Yes, I am very fortunate to be able to associate with these men. Of course it is rather a contrived environment, but nevertheless we get to practice love and compassion and non-judgement. I've been doing these retreats for over a decade now (almost 2 decades) and it has changed me. I'm very grateful to be able to connect with men on such a spiritually intimate level. Many blessings.
Maybe i wear a mask, but really, I don't see the need for them. What's funny, though, is that if I'm talking with someone who is in mask mode, they assume I am too. So even if I am my true self, it's as if I'm making it all up. It can't be that difficult to believe that there might be some of us running around that are more comfortable with who we are in almost nearly every circumstance than we're not, yet the guard is up and the mask goes on.
I determined a long time ago that if I really wanted to, I could be really good at being something or someone I wasn't. Same thing with mind games. I could really get inside the head of anyone. However, I would instantly come back to the same thing. To what end? What's the point? It's more work to do all of that, and in the end, not enough benefit.
I am pretty much the same way, which is why I never did good with small talk that is so prevalent. I do have a guard up, but not sure I consider that the same thing. I make sure of people and their worthiness to certain considerations before extending them. I never felt that everyone is owed respect. I will agree with politeness till proven different, but to me respect is something one earns.
I couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks for weighing in.
The weather is usually the subject of conversation when the mask is on lol. When my husband was a cashier at a grocery years back, he got so irritated because the costumers were always bringing up the weather. It's going to snow, it's going to storm, it's too hot, it's too cold. Over and over again all day long!
I think since it's really difficult for me to wear a mask, I put up a wall, but when the wall comes down I am too honest and I overshare haha!
Thanks for your post @practicalthought! :)
Hahahaha, I know his pain oh so well. Some days when I was at the swap meet baking all day in the 115 degree temperature I wish I had a dollar for every time someone said, 'Is it hot enough for ya today?"
Umm, no, I love burning to a crisp for the privilege of your asking me this question before you try to low ball me on my items. The only thing that would make this moment more perfect is if it was maybe hotter.
Honest people without a personal axe against me to grind are rejuvenating to the soul. I find you to be one of many I have found here on Steemit. So keep oversharing and soon enough there will be so many of us the others are sure to either drop their masks or run before their dis-ease eats them alive.
And don't you dare upvote this comment. You already did the post and I need you to spread the love so others can have a larger stake to upvote me down the road as I toss pearls all over this place.
I didn't know you sold stuff at swap meets! Ohh and baking all day on top of 115 degree temps!? Ok, I should be careful or I'll start sounding like one of them!
I think some mask wearers have already ran when it comes to me. After one of my most recent @familyprotection posts, I lost a few followers. It was the one where I spoke of how I was losing grip. Usually losing followers doesn't bother me, because they aren't really on my radar in the first place, but there was one who I welcomed to Steemit after seeing his introduction post, and I've watched him grow over the months. He even commented that I was in his family's prayers when this all started. Another person unfollowed me, and he was a fellow alliance member. I thought maybe he was kicked from @thealliance, and that was why, but I checked and he's still there. I think that post was definitely an oversharing moment lol!
Do you know how hard this was for me? I almost did anyway. :P
Straight from the heart that one my friend, I loved it, and it reminded me of a conversation I had today with my mother. Recently she had come out of her shell, come from behind the mask, talked openly about all the evil in the world, though today on the phone, I could not see the mask, I could hear it though, any talk had to be trivial, non political, unreal and fake, I felt sad, as it took over 50 years to get to real, and now we are back to fake, sad day for me, sad day for her.
It is sad, and sorry things slid backwards. You can sense the fear and anger many have when you prod them to push aside the mask and be real. Sadly, even those we would be closest to if they would just let us. My dad was this way the last years of his life. He would feign he didn't care, that it was foolish to discuss things that we were powerless to change. Out of all people, he was the one I wished most to discuss reality with. But it was not meant to be.
I am having a similar situation now with my mom. I know she is angry I am moving again, angry there is a chance I will not see her again before she passes on. I wish she could put the anger aside so we could enjoy what may be our last weeks together, honoring our connections and love for one another. But it is beyond my control. All I can do is honor her while not allowing her to dictate my life choices.
It is reality she seems to want to ignore, it was so nice for a year, that she faced up to it, now she wants to go back to the same as your father
You see it I think like I do, we can change it, we will change it, when we all realize "we can"
Maybe tell your mom how you feel today or tomorrow, I did today, and I will again tomorrow, I want the real mom back again, it took so bloody long to find her I am not letting go. I hope the move works out well for you, where you off to this time my friend?.
Thank you. I am back to New England to reunite with my best friend. She had to move back within months of us getting here due to a family emergence. It has been difficult being parted as I finished out our responsibilities here. Home is where the heart is and my heart has been with her for many years. So I am going home.
That made me smile, superb, make it so captain, and enjoy, we only get 1 shot at this.
Thanks for keeping up the quality work!
@curateme
Beautifully written. Sadly so true
Thank you, and it is sad. I didn't understand it when I was a child. I had even suspected it was a conspiracy of sorts. And it is, just not one that people hold meetings and discuss. Probably why many are drawn to nature and animals. No masks needed there.
Thanks for reading and commenting. Please forgive my question, but I see you and your husband live in South African Cape. I have read some discouraging news from Africa, that in some places there is a genocide taking place. Are you in any danger where you are at?
Strange you should ask. Someone else asked me on Steemit earlier today. I have been considering writing about it. My husband and I are blessed that we are still in one of the few remaining safe places. Others of my family are not. It is too horrific to dwell on the brutal murder and land (farm) claims. Apart from a corrupt government, the police force cannot be relied upon (and are generally equally as corrupt). There has been talk and some action towards secession of the Cape from the rest of SA. If that were to happen I am not sure how much it could end the genocide. Thank you for asking
Cheers!
Thank you transparencybot.
A lovely description. Thank you for sharing it.