Celibacy can be empowering and allow one to see all people in a different view. Having learned to transcend my sexuality ... not condemn it ... but transcend it, allows me to view others with greater kindness. I don't want from or feel in competition with others. I can offer unconditional acceptance and compassion.
Nature places this drive to procreate within us and when it is frustrated, it can overwhelm. Stoked by things like pornography, it can cause unbelievable isolation and suffering. You may begin to see the opposite sex as a mark and not an ally. You can't have a decent relationship with anyone if you do not see them as a friend.
Sexuality is part of us, but it is not us, and we need to learn to place it in perspective. There are so many things about life that are worth celebrating. We are so much than potential mates. It is not the greatest lovers that are immortalized; it is the creators, thinkers, and leaders. History rarely records bed-post notches, and when it does, not for very long.
If you are an Incel reading this, or someone who identifies with their way of thinking, you are wrong. All women don't want heavily-muscled men. Some of us just want a really kind and well-rounded person who doesn't deal too heavily in stereo-types and insistence. We want an evolving and open-minded person who is not controlled by biological impulses, someone who knows himself, or herself, and is practiced in authentic compassion and maybe some humour. You have been fooled by the media and your own biology. There are ways to fulfillment that have nothing to do with material and biological obtainment.
Celebrate yourself and others and place whether or not you have an outlet for physical desire way down on the list. Meditate or pray, exercise and eat well, and sleep more. Laugh more. And look on everyone you can with kindness. With time, you will discover you are much more than your urges. You are not alone and we are all in this together. Accept yourself.
What a beautiful way to address them @prydefoltz <3 honestly, they need to hear this. unfortunately, the hypocrisy is uncanny, and I suspect, as the movement self-identifies on its own, many are looking for the supermodely girls, not the ones that are looking for "an evolving and open-minded person." However, if it is true for any that aren't looking for that, maybe they can escape this perceived victimhood through your kind words. Thank you for responding this way.
Perhaps one day soon, they will gain a better understanding of themselves. I think many are just looking for a way out of the suffering and unfortunately, people in this position are vulnerable to those who support bias and validate the suffering rather than offering a way out. There is a way out, but it does require self-evaluation and not blaming. Namaste, jessandtheresea:)
Agreed, men can become maybe too isolated, as they get sucked into fantasy, lust, pornography, these addictions, selfishly speaking, and men do make too many excuses at times, and men are responsible for their own problems, generally speaking. Men generally need to grow up and treat women with more respect in their relationships with women in seeking to take care of women better. Men begin to abuse women more as they value women less and less slowly over time. Men need to reorganize their values, their priorities, to honor women more, to treasure them more, to love them better, as opposed to abusing women.
Rather a fan of men on the whole ... a lot of beautiful minds and souls are found in both sexes and all genders. But I think you make a good point; desires and fears can lead one to forget about compassion and victimize those less powerful, treat partners as property. Certain forces in the media and modern life shove an individual away from compassion and they get lost to desires and insecurities.
And smaller dogs bark louder. People too. Yeah, we can forget grace. Yeah, beautiful minds of all genders for sure.
:)