Congrats to you for being brave enough to not only write about but share one of your major weaknesses.
I hope this helps you to develop more inner peace.
The paradox is that by letting go of control it is sometimes possible to have much MORE control.
Throughout my childhood I was always very nervous around people. I would get anxiety from people even looking at me. When I was in high school the only class I ever failed was speech class. I failed not because I was stupid, in fact I aced every test. I failed because the teacher said "despite your grade I cannot pass you unless you give a speech" I didn't give one because I was lazy but because I was literally PETRIFIED. Because I didn't give a speech the teacher failed me even with a passing grade. I had to take it again the next year, because speech was a "required class for graduation"
I still remember this as the most terrifying moment of my life. I decided that even though it was the LAST thing in the world I wanted to do I was going to give just ONE speech so I could pass the class.
I wrote a speech and had it on a piece of paper. When my name was called I was already panicked, I started sweating, my heart pounding. As I got up and started to walk to the podium I started to get dizzy, as I started to try and do the speech my vision went out and all I could see was black. I did not finish the speech because I literally passed out from terror.
So I can relate. I feel for you. I would also offer some hope in the fact that I now get up on stage in front of hundreds or thousands on a somewhat regular basis and give powerful speeches to applause.
My point is that total transformation is possible.
The key for me was not judging my self or stressing my self out more by the fact that I was inadiqute or week. Instead to accept it and believe that it was possible to change. With the belief that it was possible, and real dedication to going within my self and changing my perspective I was able to literally have a life changing transformation, over time of course.
I hope to write about it here on Steemit one day. I have given presentations on it many times. I just found this post and wanted to connect with you and share a little bit of my own experience.
I have been following you on Steemit for 97% of my time on here. I support you and wish you the best~*~
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