In what ways have you triumphed over the necessary loss of a loved one?
My perspective on the question; I still have trouble figuring out if it was necessary. I don't think so. They were just a hurt person to begin with. Worse thing he did was not be there when I needed someone. Not call when he said. Or provoke me when he felt unworthy.
"It's complicated"
I couldn't help my anger. And my fear at his mental state. The bizarre nature of this relation, and the inherent subjectivity, complexity immolates me from within. When I thought it was behind me.
Triumphed? Not yet. But I'm using it as inspiration for fiction. The emotions it permits me to convey, and the story it allows me to tell, will be the triumph.
As now I find that, a year later, I've been in denial to myself; told myself I was over it. It's probably healthier to address. There was a really negtive effect on my persona the loss of this relationship had. I fear the same for my counterpart. I don't know if they are dead or alive. Death is a likelihood for a person such as them.
I had never known someone so intimately, and it was the same for him. That is an honor of it's own. Sometimes I think I took it for granted. Other times I think I dodged a bullet. Confused, still I am, Strong passions, never handle themselves well. Now I know I need an outlet.
Thanks for this post. I like your openness and I like that it prompts me to respond in kind.
Wow. I feel this to my core! Thank you for sharing. I think this will be lasting for me for sure, but I hope the easier feelings begin soon. Right now I feel sicker than when I had some modicum of control, but that is for reasons I think I need to write out in a broader post.
Share away.
I felt hesistant after writing something personal like that...but I realized the only people who will remember it, in a significant way, are the ones who relate. And thats a good thing. When somethings a bit personal it can feel like its the only thing thats got bright lights on it in the darkness, like a convict escaping in a prison movies. lol not the case.