I have discovered something amazing. I think it’s the door that I created this mind from. It’s like a point that always repeats inside myself, that leads me to every story I live in my thoughts. That point is not something cool honest and fair like my mind would like to think simply because it’s attached to sucking the resoures of my body through my mind, that point in fact, looks like a wound in my body, everytime something happens it's because I have gone through that wound. I once, had like an experiene where I felt like I was leaving my body, and then I came back because it was too much. Well what I experienced is exactly what I am talking about now, what I experienced was being in my body without entering through that door. What happens is, that that door is what we have become, it’s literally us, being here, so it’s not something simple to notice it. I mean, it’s like if, everytime we choose to active anything that happens as thoughts and reality in our life, it happens through that door, and we are so used to, that even in the process of discovering ourselves, we will find hard to give that up, because we would literally be free like the wind or the water, with no particular shape, and all that we have done in our life is shape and shape and shape and we can’t stop being the shape, because all that we do is for the shape, and if we just could stop that, we would feel very light, literally like if our pressence was being taken out of this body. And that is what we are looking for, to controll our lives, to really know how we work, why we work, for what we work, and who we are.
I am so skilled at this, at pressing the buttom of my mind, it happens without me noticing it, because I am so identified with the buttom, I first want to press it, and then okay I accept anything, but what I find interesting and more difficult is directly not pressing the buttom. What happens after not pressing it, is feeling a relieve, like something you want so much to go, to leave you, but it just seemed impossible, it seemed impossible that you yourself would leave but it’s what you wanted, because what leaves it’s the creation you have done of yourself through the mind, and it doesn’t benefit you, it simply enslave you, I was initially scared, because I am not used to feel so light, but it’s something so healthy, like… finally things are expressed in my life, like the should, without me entirely, they have their own form, and I must respect this, if I want to live, I don’t want to be old pressing the same buttom again and again and again. I want to live totally, fully, and this is exactly what I feel when things are expressed unconditionally, I start going lighter and ligher and I feel like if I was going somewhere, where I am going is to my expression, in this body and in this world, and I am going out of the illution of the mind, and I am not only working with my mind, but with myself, with who I am in every moment of every breath.
So this is an interesting point to look at, a buttom in your body that looks like a wound that you are attached and identified and that when you start controlling instead of the buttom controlling you, you feel ligher and more expressive and more alive but it’s hard because you would always choose the press the buttom before really understanding what controlling yourself means. Don’t choose the buttom, choose life, don’t have fear lol