I'm not a very Religious person. When I was in single digits I was brought up through a strict Catholic schooling system and the Roman Catholic ideology was hammered into my brain. My parents knew nothing of what was happening because they assumed that because they were essentially agnostics that the school would respect their wishes. Nope. Anyway, through a deep sense of abandonment from God, a growing interest in the History of humans, and the evolution of society, I slowly began to lose my religion and settle into a sort of agnostic belief system. Science has never perfected biological evolution in the sense that they cannot explain why life on our world went from nothing to something. I reserve my judgement and concede that it's something I don't fully understand yet. However, I really don't support the existence of any anthropomorphic deity’s that have appeared through civilisation since we began to question what was out there.
Alcoholics Anonymous wasn't for me
When I joined the AA to help with my alcoholism I swiftly realised that wasn't the place for me; they would keep trying to get me to submit to a 'higher power' and that I was powerless to control my addictions. I'm not too sure what they meant by that but it was safe to say I was swiftly at the opening of a vodka bottle in no time. It wasn't for me. I've never liked the idea that something 'has control' over me, not since my twenties anyway. How would you be able to find your own true worth? Your true emotional power? If you constantly imagined yourself on a string as a puppet played by someone far grander than yourself? It's a belief that works against my inner mantra; that everyone has the power to effect great things and great change, you only need realise it.
I'm a late bloomer
I was very late in my learning when it came to owning up to more adult concepts like accountability. To be fair I hadn't really thought about it at all until my son was born and I had to grow up almost overnight. I didn't matter anymore, everything that I do in my life from now on will be geared towards securing a better life for him, I am now the caregiver instead of the recipient, it was a short sharp shock to the system. Accountability was a damn good lesson for me, though. As @cali-girl said in her latest post only moments ago, " Choose your words wisely and you will change your reality." I spent the better half of a decade building previously torched bridges by a youthful me that was spontaneous, hot headed, mischievous and a bit on the manipulative side. Telling me that I had caused a lot of hurt in my youth would have been an understatement. Our words and actions have powerful consequences.
My first brush with accountability was apologising to my friend that I had left for dead when we were drunk once. He couldn't move and I had given up on him and walked away with other mates. We were kids at the time but it was enough to destroy a long-standing childhood friendship since we were seven years old, and I regretfully spend my late teenage years without him. It was a blow to me, and it taught me a valuable lesson that day. Never ditch your friends. I'm usually the first to defend friends anywhere and that early experience has a huge impact on my protective nature today. We reconciled in our early twenties where I apologised and we talked about it for a while afterwards; realising that I had never confronted the situation at all before, neither had he.
Own your actions, friend
Accountability is where someone stands up and says yup, it's me, I did that, blame me. We hear on the news where the media talk about it being such a negative experience, "The President will be held accountable for the drone attacks in the middle east and as a result his leadership will be challenged." For me, though, it's a very positive thing. Being accountable is a deeper understanding of the situation at hand. For instance, I see on Social Media everyone arguing with each other, threatening everyone, and getting offended. If we were more accountable for our actions we would understand the effects our words can have over people. Some people get frustrated when no-one elsewhere has time for their annoying mood swings, but lives in a family where everyone treads around eggshells to compensate for their often frightfully nasty behaviour.
It's a far deeper understanding of yourself. When you become accountable for yourself then you begin to understand that your words influence your micro-environment, as do your actions, and through that understanding you place your words and act with better interests to your needs and wants. I'm a healer, I tend to lead by example, so I'm terribly careful with what I say and do, knowing that this can have an effect on other people. I really understand people. Yet you don't need to be a healer, there's all sorts of personality types than can use their accountability to their advantage. Stop for a moment. Ask yourself, if I say x, y and z, how will my audience react? How will that make them feel? And lead from there.
You can change your life
You can effectively change your life and the way the world perceives you through taking accountability, owning up to your past and current wrongs. Saying, “yup, I fucked up, let's draw a line under it and learn from it and move on.” Life is a very hard lesson for everyone, and as soon as you realise that, and grow a better understanding, the world is your oyster, friend.
Thanks for listening.
Thank you very much for sharing this. This post in my opinion is one of the best things I have read on Steemit. It is not always easy to dig up the dirt in our lives, but it's the only way to stay clean. I know for the having the accountability of the Army in my life as a young man truly helped shape me into holding myself to a higher standard than I did before. The no bullshit option is the only way to go. Holding yourself responsible for the mistakes you have made, big or small, is the only way to change. No matter the task at hand. I am happy for you that you have found you motivation to shape up and be the person you are today due to the birth of your child. Thank you again for sharing this. It was truly great to read!
Really nice to hear that. You should check out my other writing if you enjoyed this! :)
Yes! Words and accountability go hand in hand. I'm so glad to read about your transformation into who you are today.
They do! I took a long time recognising that though! haha
Our bad experiences can be our lessons if you just want it. Our life is our teacher.
You're right there. Our experiences are our lessons!
@raymondspeaks, thanks for being raw and real. Our upbringings sound very different, but I totally relate to seeing life thorough a different lenses after my children were born.
Thank you! Yes, it was the singular most 'adulting' moment in my life haha
You add great thought into your writing. I'm glad that you were able to transform yourself to a positive man. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks! Yes, I did in the end :)
https://steemit.com/art/@yusaymon/my-friend-harry-wants-to-meet-you-art-by-yusaymon
It's never too late to make the right decision! Just as long as a person has enough belief in what they are doing, they can over come any draw back!
You can check out @ENAZWAHSDARB for the best Entrepreneurial content! If you appreciate what you see, you can leave a follow! :)
Responsibility and accountability seem closely related.
They are :)
I wish more people viewed thing they you do regarding taking accountability for ones action, it a lesson we all have to learn. Thanks for the read
It is! Thank you :)
Accountability is definitely a part of the whole concept of self awareness, or understanding that if we want to be better we must first know where we start.
Thanks for sharing your story, dig that you're laying some of it out there. Write on!
Thanks :)
Great post, thank you!
Awesome, thank you :)
I see that you are interested in relationships. I do an almost daily blog on Love and marriage if you care to follow that. Thanks again for that great post, my son is still drinking too much and he also have a 7 month old baby boy. He is making promises, I want him to read this post.