Engaging in anything other than my own life at the moment kind of sucks right now. I don’t feel listened to, not by many people anyway. I think it’s fair to say that no-one listens or really takes in what I have to say. I get it, you know? Everyone has things to be doing and jobs to be getting on with, and with the rise of social media, we’re all perfectly wrapped up in our own little worlds. I’ve been shouting it from the rooftops that we need to focus on ourselves more, but I feel the internet and the world around us places an unhealthy centric perspective on ourselves.
Ask yourself, when was the last time YOU messaged someone purely to ask how their life was? Because you’re generally interested? That can be a message, text, phone or in person. When was the last time you went out your way to talk to someone about something other than your own focus. I used to get angry at that. I was (am) a person that believes a friendship is a two-way thing, and the focus should be on my life just as it is my friends, and I’d often feel side-lined over other people’s issues. It used to have me stewing at night, on occasion. Luckily, I finally learned to flow with the current, and, if I wanted to stay in people’s lives I was just going to have to sacrifice my ego for a while and put myself out there. If that meant always being the first one to connect, then so be it. No sense crying over spilt milk.
Going out of my way has brought me onto a new wave of thinking. Now that I’ve learned to essentially ‘go with the flow’ of life events, this in itself brings up its own set of hard challenges, especially when I’m talking about Politics, religion, dating & relationships, life, and so on. I realised long ago that people are hard to change, because I went through that exact same myself, and, I’m still rapidly changing. Rather than try and change people I’ve been trying to listen to what they have to say on events and ideas. Yet the offer is rarely reciprocated, people seem to really like listening to themselves speak, but disregard anything the other person has to say on the topic unless it fits in with their own narrative.
I’m slowly but surely learning that the world doesn’t revolve around me, and I’m really trying to push back on that idea. I’m trying to listen more, and evolve more, help more, understand more. For me, understanding the other side of the argument, any argument, is the best way to finding a workable solution.
I feel the Internet has essentially destroyed healthy free speech. Free speech exists, yes, but people are more and more surrounding themselves with others that agree with them rather than surrounding themselves with a healthy mix of friends that can have a sensible debate over differing topics. What happens when you shut down differing opinions and swarm yourself with others that agree with you? Well, it becomes all the harder to hear an opposing viewpoint because your mind isn’t used to people disagreeing with you, it’s hard enough as it is! It comes as a bitter shock, rather than a healthy understanding that my viewpoint isn’t the only one in the world.
It’s why I sit in Politics groups that some people, if they sat in them themselves, would ask for them to be nuked off the Internet. It’s why I sit in hardcore Atheist / Religion debate groups, and it’s why I sit in life groups that tend to question the deeper meaning of life. I’m big on understanding, I want to understand the world, humanity, the Earth and so on. But right now, I see many, many people closed off to the notion of anything different to their own viewpoint, and that sucks. It’s bad for humanity, it’s unhealthy from a person centric viewpoint, and it divides us rather than unites us.
Can we learn to listen properly?
Quite hard to hear this, isn’t it? I’ve seen some people HUGE on unity, and togetherness, yet lack the basic capability of listening to someone with a different view. Unity and togetherness isn’t uniting each other on ‘my terms’ it’s finding a healthy balance so that we can all work together. My last boss taught me that, just by watching what she did. It frustrated me at first, how some other staff members would be allowed to act out and get away with it, but me, I’d never do that. What I didn’t realise is that she was creating a happy balance, that everyone could work together in their own optimal environment. The members acting out, well, that was just them being themselves. And me? Being quiet and getting on with it? That was me just being myself. If we were all working together perfectly to achieve a common goal, there’s no issue, right?
Right, and that should be the same for everything.
Some people need to be reflected to
Don’t get me wrong though. There’s some people that absolutely need to hear their own views reflected back to them, and there’s some people that need the safe haven of friends with uniting views. If you take me 15 years ago, I would have definitely not coped well sitting in any of the groups I am in now, contemplating life. There are survivors and disabled amongst us who need that extra care and attention. I’m no mean bastard!
But for me and most others, it’s time to start listening. It’s time to shed this ‘I am the centre of the universe’ bullshit, and walk out into the unknown. Take a foot out there and understand what’s going on elsewhere, what others are saying from all levels of society. Understanding that there are other needs out there that are completely unrelated to yours. I’ve often been shocked and surprised by some of the background reasons to other people’s quite toxic perceptions of life, and left very embarrassed by my judgements.
I’ve stopped judging. Started listening. You should too
The internet world has changed human behavior, rarely communicate directly with others, almost no friendship with friends.
This phenomenon occurs in all places, including at home, rarely communicates directly wife and child, such behavior is very severe.
Many people who do not like anymore with face-to-face discussions, they prefer to discuss through social networking media groups.
So in every house of worship is reminded to be turned off when the sermon lasts, this may be one very effective way.
Goods in meetings and discussions of these rules can be enforced, so we get used to listening and appreciating others who are talking.
Another way I often do, perhaps this can be an example, when I arrived at home, I can not stand android and do not play the internet, so also when met with my friends trying memaskus android me to speak and what the content of the talk.
This is as long as I do, I take the time really to listen to something that might be useful to us.
Thanks for your input, yes, I agree :)
True, Listening is always essential for a 2 way communication.
Yep! 2 way being key :)
I believe the altruistic ideals are showing their true colors now. People are neglecting our true nature, and instead we have glued on this false "help others" narrative. People are virtue signalling like there is no tomorrow. And it is so obvious.
A local example from my town. A very socialist voting town, where everyone preaches about how me must accept immigrants etc (ironically there aren't that many immigrants here, because it's an expensive place) and in a survey 90% identified as socialist (socialist democrats)
But just recently the government decided that they are going to build 2000 low cost appartements in the town centre (which is surrounded by large houses)
Immediately people forget their so called altruistic "values" on how important it is to house the poor, accept more low skilled immigrants and be socialist basically. The town Facebook group is flooded with people who owns these houses (houses worth 500-1mill USD - 4-6 times annual yearly income) and they complain like there is no tomorrow. "What will happen to the prices in that area when we get all these low cost appartments??" etc.
So, now all of a sudden, when their money is threatened, they are confronted with their own true nature - the nature of selfishness. It's very interesting to see. Aaaall the virtue signalling goes down the drain in the blink of an eye.
So I believe people today basically are hypocrites. Virtue signalling hypocrites that have been so brainwashed and indoctrinated into political correctness that they just keep repeating mantras like "help the poor" but they have no concept of what that really means.
They believe they can have the cake and eat it. They don't understand facts. It's amazing to see even adults having the same intellectual capacity as children, even though they work in complicated jobs.
I am personally ALL for helping others on my own premisses. But I am never virtue signalling. If i decide to help someone it is because I want to. Because it feels good for ME to help that person. But I would never disable someone by helping them. I would never give money to someone who has put themselves in a position. So I demand an explanation when donating money. That's my criteria. I've been criticized for that before, but I have to be true to myself. I'd like to help a person who has suffered injustice. But I don't want to help someone who has put themselves in a bad economic situation. They won't learn anything from that help.
And yes, we are living in a disconnected world. There is no connection between words and action anymore. People think they do good by virtue signalling politically correct nonsense in Facebook groups - like "job well done for today! I posted a "I fucking love science meme" and since we, the leftists have claimed science now, because Trump is anti-science(???) I've done good!"
And the rest of the day they don't use their brains at all. They don't read into anything. It's just work, dinner, watch mindnumbing television, and being jealous on people who live different and more interesting lives because they use their capacity.
Interesting topic and good post! Upvoted
This comment was FANTASTIC. Actually, I'd love to see a post on this. There are a lot of leftists around because of their own bad economic circumstances. I've realised that most of it is entirely selfish though. Give them a million pounds and then threaten it with taxes - and watch those ideals fly out the window. I'd love to hear more!
P.S. I'm still left :)
Thanks! Wow just realized what a long rant that was 😀 i have no problems with leftisys or ev communists as long as they oppose me having to have to pay for it under the threat of violence.
What you say !!!
I heard it often
"I wish I could. No one listens to me. I can't breath anymore. Every turn I am plummeted backward. I watch as everyone achieves. I can't."
I think it will help if you make shorter paragraphs and use the # sign for headers.
One thing I have learned in about 15 years of blogging is that people do better with the text broken up more. I'm always spouting off about my message and have to remember to format so people will read it.
The internet is not like books and the attention spans of humans is very short!
Upvoted and followed :)
Thanks for your advice, but I write to a different audience! Most of the people that read my work enjoy large paragraphs. I try to encourage people to read more by writing fluently and to the average joe with a crap attention span.
I get what you're saying - but when marketers play to the way things are then they increase the problem, not solve it :) (I am trying to do a fair bit of solving in my work)
I understand, but I was responding to your title looking for more people to listen. One aspect that works for phones and ipads is to break up the text. Getting the active people here to listen is a combo of content and format. Giving them some subtitles to guide them might help you get more readers.
Thanks. I've tested that actually, big headers and large pictures, but I'm finding readers are responding better when I text it all out. It's strange, but that's what my audience prefer :)
That is strange. I do not think it would work for me since my content is mostly "how to". The subtitles help get the content digestible. (maybe)
It really just depends who you are writing to. I try to make my content easily digestible for anyone. It encourages people to read more. Look at the comment beneath you - a post in itself :)
We have different audiences methinks
Yes - I work with obese people who have no hope for the most part. They are not reading me for pleasure. They need help in small pieces or they cannot go through with it. I'm pretty long-winded myself, but I try to get some white space in there when I can :)
Oh, the comment is second from the top now lol
@raymondspeaks, your recent postings, including this one, are terrific reflective pieces, that in a round about way, are self-help advice for the reader.
I saw an old friend this past Friday and our conversation was somewhat awkward. This friend couldn't bother to listen to half of what I was saying, cutting me off, bringing the topic back to himself. It was a bit annoying at the time, but after reading this post, I see that interaction a little differently.
Listening, processing and communicating takes focus and a desire to do it. Most don't.
I'm really pleased that you gain something from my work. This is why I write. You, sir, are a fine example of why I exist. Thank you :)
My pleasure. I've finally given into steemit being a social media site and not a profit center. That's why I write, myself.
Good man! :)
thanks for sharing
this refers steemit.com so much nowadays. bots post humans get money noone cares what you say
Disagree - but thanks for commenting :)
nice article thanks for post
The The Phenomenonss as you mentioned above, has happened everywhere. Very unfortunate we no longer care about the environment around us. Even more so if this happens within our own family. The husband does not care anymore with his wife, the father is only busy with his job, so also the mother is not so concerned about her children.
Thank Raymond for nice post.