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It’s either a really good joke or a really bad one, but I don’t get it :(

I like you, I like me, I like my friend John, my friend Kate. I hate faceless humanity. I love my dear intimates. I hate humanity, because I love people.

I like to get intimate with people, but only with a few people. It’s not intimate anymore if you have a hundred friends.

Perhaps "intimates" wasn't the right word. Yeah, I mostly agree.