I hope I'm not the only person in the world like this... I'm pretty sure I can't be, but I prefer being alone. It isn't that I don't like people, I just don't feel comfortable being around them. I've pretty much always been like that. I've had friends, but I prefer having them one at a time for some reason. I think this is why I like writing so much- it doesn't require any direct interaction. If someone leaves me a comment, that's fine, I have something specific to respond to. As far as going out, or out of my way to establish some kind of social bonds seems somehow false to me. I've noticed over the years that the people that talk the most are the ones that have the least to say.
I really began to notice this when I was in Vietnam. Most other people desired the safety of large numbers of other people. I guess it minimized the possibility of being a target- maybe not, I don't know. I much prefered it when Hue Pham and I were in the bush, silent and focused. The more people I was around, the less I liked it. The same was true afterward. I didn't mind so much interacting on a one-to-one basis, but larger social units seemed to require a level of falseness, for lack of a better word.
As you can imagine, this has made relationships with the opposite sex particularly uncomfortable.
For some reason women seem to require a steady flow of words. This has never been my forte. I had a girlfriend, Catherine that complained that I never talked. I told her to go ahead and start off and I'd chime in after. I guess she expected a monologue or something. My second wife was like that also. She made pretty much the same comment. I told her that I had pretty much told her everything I had to say and asked if she wanted me to start over at the beginning. Were still friends. I don't get it... why people seem to expect a never-ending flow of conversation and why it's always up to me to provide it. My second wife would talk on the phone to her sisters a lot. When they run out of things to say, they just start repeating themselves- they would say the same thing over five or six times. I suppose this is normal behavior. Why do people require a constant flow of chatter?
Mark Twain once wrote: "The more I'm around people, the more I like my dog." I think I now understand why.
well said.
I'm pretty much the same way except for
It isn't that I don't like people,
I do NOT Like people, especially in crowds...
Anything beyond my monkeysphere I avoid as much as I can.
love that term
problem is
Wolves are Social Animals.
cats however...
Crowds don't bother me so much... they're just objects like cars or trees- as long as I don't have to interact. I don't like the ones that stand there expecting you to say something brilliant- I try to think of something obscene or insulting!
crowds are target rich environments for mass shooters
or terrorists.
don't be a target.
They have to have their sights set really low... The only places I go are the donut shop and Wally World!
they're not looking for quality.
they're just looking for people who can't shoot back.
frankly I'm surprised that WallyWorld hasn't been hit...yet.
a terrorist would blend right in...no one would know until it was too late.
I can definitely relate. I mostly chalk it up to the fact that most people are idiots and feel the need to constantly fill the silence with idle chatter to avoid hearing their own thoughts in their head. Personally, I like my thoughts which is why I prefer writing. Gives me a chance to share them with people without having to engage in inane conversation about nothing. It's not really being introverted or social anxiety as I have no problem when I go out talking to people. I just don't care much about celebrities, sports, gossip or any of the other crap most people fill their time and their endless chit chat with.
The precise point I was trying to make (only much better stated- I shouldn't write after I hit the burn-out stage). People seem to expect you to carry the conversation for them and when you're not interested in celebs or that other inane crap... there's something wrong with you!
Your not @richq11 parts this resemble me, I find people seem to be scared of being alone I know we are social creatures and all but people are sooo scared of having nothing to say, apparently if you have nothing to say right away something must be wroong! Thats just not the case we humans can also enjoy just the company of someone without words. And those who are on repeat all the time drive me completely insane!
What bothers me is that the people that have nothing to say are the ones that do the most talking... Like the old saying- The empty barrel makes the most noise!
I guess there must be quite a few lone wolves out there, myself included...I live alone by choice.
Most seem to be men. I've had many people, tell me I'm odd because I don't babble like a waterfall ( it's usually women that comment), but I really don't feel the need.
It's not that I am incapable of participating in conversation, I just don't want to. I keep to the point instead of elaborating every which way and stretching what can be said in five sentences into hours of digression.
I too prefer to write. I prefer to message instead of direct dialogue.
And I definitely agree with Mark Twain...my dogs and I live together quite happily, and understand each other perfectly without incessant chatter ad nauseam.
Well said! I enjoy my Bruno's company... he's easy to get along with and only gets demanding at dinner time or when it's time to go for a walk!
Dear friend, I think we are similar ;) The relationship with my hubby works well just because both love to have our own spaces and when one of us needs to be alone with him/herself, we respect each others.
That's great... It works out better like that. My first wife worked while I homeschooled the kids, when she came home I could go to my space to write (I was working on a book of political theory). It worked well for years.
Maybe our relationship works well also because we married in the "high" age and both we already loved to stay lonely :D
Right as usual!
Its a bit ironic being a lone wolf on a SOCIAL platform LOL. I hear ya though. I can take people up to a point, or leave them. I am never afraid to do my own thing artistically. Like old Merle said, I wear my own kind of hat...
Introverts! Excellent to be one. I'd rather listen than talk - most of the time - so I can relate. We have two ears, one mouth - I tend to use it in the same way. Listen twice - speak once. (Quote from *unknown).
Enjoyed the read - as usual.
ch @globocop
I'm to where I don't even want to listen anymore... most of it isn't worth hearing. Could you imagine spending a day with Britney Spears or some idiot like that???
It would be suicidal if i tried that...
However, I do listen to people with substance - even if not necessarily agreeing.
BTW, Brittney Spears, or short : BS, who's that? 🤣
Some vacuous hasbeen from the 90's!
regarding female inability to shut up.
wimmen's wetware is wired differently than men's
they gotta yak-yak-yak among themselves
CONSTANTLY
it's a 'gatherer' thing.
pecking order...etc.
Men, on the other hand
need peace and quite
in order to sneak up on the prey
it's a hunter thang.
our brains are wired that way.
I know right, then they want you to look at them when they talk to you.
I mean, if we can hear each other is it sooo important to make direct eye contact?
Just because there is a curtain, do they have to pull it aside?
Apparently,....
I must have missed all that in etiquette class,...
I couldn't agree more... and I missed etiquette class altogether! When I look at those insistent people in the eye- I give them the "crazy look" just to make them really uncomfortable!
Lol, yeah, but cultivating that crazy look makes it hard to get a job,...
Life on the edge, not as easy as it looks,....wouldn't be cool if just anybody could do it.
Being a combat vet gives me an edge... I can turn on the "flat look" it scares the hell out of people!
Yeah, they let their imaginations run wild,....and they weren't real brave to begin with,...
Great post- funny - totally get it : )
I kinda sensed that about you, my friend!
A lot of people and activity is something I've been told I handle well. Yet, I can tell you from a personal perspective my tolerance for it is very limited. I may DEAL with it, that doesn't mean I like it. I've been told "sure you do, you get very animated and talkative". Yet, the thing is I am always talkative if there is someone to talk to. That doesn't mean that I am not also getting increasingly uncomfortable. I simply saunter on. Though I do often view running back to my room, my cave, my real home as salvation. I'll find myself wanting to retreat there, but trying to stay engaged.
If I encountered YOU for example in person I have zero doubt that I could speak to you for hours, days, weeks, etc. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't soon start hearing the siren song beckoning me to retreat to my room...
:)
I know what you mean! I can talk fine as long as there's something substantive to talk about and someone intelligent to talk to... But I too soon long for the solitude of my cave.
I recognize a fellow introvert when I see one. Well, not exactly "see" in this case, I suppose. I've been on here two months and I still haven't done an intro post. You know, like you're supposed to do. Typical extrovert propaganda advice. ;)
What I find interesting is that I see quite a few introverts sharing their stories to an entire community on a social network. Isn't that an oxymoron or something?
I'm not an introvert in that sense... I'd just rather write to people than talk to them.
Hmmm. Maybe try drinking more beer. When I'm around a bunch of people, I tend to clam up, especially if I don't know the people very well. After about the third beer, I quit giving a shit about what other people think and then you can't get me to shut up. That's probably an exaggeration, but you get the point.
I tried that and wound up an alcoholic- I've been sober almost 30 years now... I think I'll stay alone, but thanks
Sorry, man. That last comment seems a little insensitive when I go back and look at it. I don't mean to make light of your situation. But I can sure see a lot of myself in your description above.
To be honest, I'm really just kind of intrigued by my own behavior on Steemit. I have always avoided Facebook and Twitter and whatever else like the plague, and I've chalked that up to being an introvert. I would never have even offered an opinion on any of those other platforms.
NP... No offense taken!
You too? I thought I was the only one...
I usually avoid going outside unless it's to fish, swim, or to go to a restaurant. Or the occasional bike ride/hike.
I don't mind going out or being around people, as long as they don't talk to me.
I don't even like being around people.
I like being around my dog... we think alike and he always agrees with me!
I liked my hamsters... until Igor and Sputnik [the hamsters] died... R.I.P
They wouldn't give a crap as to what mood I was in, they played with me nonetheless, and would usually brighten my day more than any human.
Bruno is the same way. He's getting pretty old now 13-14.
That's pretty old for a dog!
Great post and ur not alone. I use to be just like u my whole time grewing up.
But at one point I got sick and it turned my life upside down and I changed.
But I can relate. Thx for sharing. Followed
Thank you.
😊
I ve watched a motivational video called lone wolf, they say that wolfs only marry once and when the partner dies they keep mourn for days, and its the only animal who dont breed with his mother or sister,
Interesting facts about wolfs!
I think geese also mate for life. Dogs being descendants of wolves are probably the same. I know that many dogs mourn the death of their humans until they die themselves.
Correct 😁
I am the another soul like you man :-)
It's refreshing to know I'm not alone!
Sometimes being alone enables one to really discover oneself.
And the more I'm around other people, the less I like about them
True talk brother
I've always known that I'm not the only one. 😎
And here I was thinking I was!
At this moment I am ready to go out to my husband's first sax recital. All his friends at the senior center will be there along with his teacher and whoever happens to be at the restaurant where he is playing.
My heart is pounding, my head is in a whirl and I know in my nervousness I will make awful social faux pas as I try to make conversation.
This is the first time I have been out to a social gathering in a long time. But how could I NOT go?
This may be a big part of why we are attracted to the virtual written world of steemit. It is a kind of control...
Never worry about faux pas... Be yourself, if others don't like it- too bad. I don't mind a bunch of people around as long as I don't have to interact... They're just objects, like chairs. Just be there and not there at the same time.
Well I did it and I made no terrible gaffes but these are my husband's friends and they know me when I show up rarely so I do have to be polite and interact. These are people I like; they are not the problem.
I wish I could be there and not there at the same time.
It was actually a great recital and my husband is very talented and out going. He sang and played his sax and I was really impressed by how he plays up to the audience. For the last year as he has been taking lessons I only hear the notes he plays (over and over) and never hear him sing. He played with another new student, on the trumpet, and his teacher, who plays piano and sings...another great performer. I could tell the audience really enjoyed it.
So I am glad I went but I am very glad to be back home. I am enjoying this steemit life.
I hope you had some fun and I'm really happy you survived!
Yeah. We will have to go out sometime in this steemit life. have lunch..
I like being a lone wolf!
So do I... That's one reason I mad3e a good sniper.
Pretty much sums me up word for word including the 2 wive's lol
My first wife was actually pretty easy to get along with... probably because she was screwing half the county!
I am a lone wolf too. Ur post have collected a list of lone wolves.
It sure seems like it... I got 15 followers from one post!
I followed too. Will I get my turn soon??
I feel EXACTLY the same way all the time. I used to think I was just introverted but now I realize that I really like being a lone wolf. Nothing drains me more than constant conversation! So I stick to reading, writing and traveling whenever I need a change of scenery. Excellent heartfelt post Rich!
I'm not an introvert... I'm just superior (I'm kidding)! If you really listen to conversations, it seems that people just need noise... there's seldom any meaningful information being disseminated. To me it just becomes white noise! That's why I like my dog!
Very good point Rich - lots of hot air and white noise being blown around these days! I really need to get a dog soon....
They're great company... Never care if you don't say a word. They're just happy you're there giving an occasional pat!