The first few weeks that I stayed at home with my kid were very hard for me. After a few weeks of staying at home with a kid, I understood that I need to change many things to be more efficient.
It is really a challenging job, to be a parent. I will say it again. I RESPECT those moms who stay at home and do all those things, plus the cleaning and cooking. Now I understand that going to work it is like a walk in a park -- EASY.
Physical work is not the problem. That's only part of it. At work you can concentrate on one thing and execute it. But when you stay at home, it is nearly impossible to concentrate on anything except the kid. So your brain uses a lot of energy to just stay focused on things you would normally do automatically.
So this led me to a thought. I have to change the way I think about things. I have to change to make my life easier and happier. Here I had a big advantage, as I have been in self-development for about 2 years. For me it was easy to identify problems and find solutions.
Changing Mindset.
Time Organization.
The way you valuate things.
- Change Mindset you have. This is, especially, needed for parents who are more in fixed mindset. To understand what kind of mindset you have go through this Link. There is no exact formula for, how to succeed in parenting. If there would be one, we would be androids, but I must say, it is much easier being a parent if you have growth mindset.
Growth mindset, gives you ability to develop and adapt to changes much more easier. And as I see it, it is very helpful, as you are developing a new person. And the chances that he will be as you have planned are less than 0.000000001 %. There is much more zeros, just don’t want to flood the post. The way you were raised, will not always work with your kid. We are living in different time, so you will need to adapt.
My kid is always developing. Every day he likes new things, and starts to dislike others. So my main objective is to give the best quality I can think of. I am not saying about best toys and expensive gadgets, but I am talking about the things you can teach him, and how you explain to him. The main thing I had to realize, that I don’t need to give him the best and most expensive things, but I need to teach him as many things I can, so he have some advantage in his life.
- Time management have to be added. This is very important, for many people, the same as me, as I am one of those people, who is leaving most of the stuff for tomorrow. With kid, this style of your time management, doesn’t work really well.
First, you will need to make a strict schedule. Not only for your kid, but for you also. It will help, your kid to prepare for kindergarten, and it will benefit you both, as you will eat and sleep in the same time. Your kids and yours body will be hungry in sleepy in the same time, so in long-term you will see very big benefit in it.
Second, You will need to do things simultaneously or you can say in different orders, as you were doing before. As I was saying in last post, about my first day being full-time dad, You should start cooking before changing diaper, as it will save you time. There are more of those situations when you can save much time.
- You should reconsider your original valuation to things in your life. For me it was most important change I had to make. When I become a father, I had to make a choice. Value things the same I was doing it before, or change it, because now I have a son. This choice is no given to you like two roads before you, and you have to chose were to go, it is not even there, most of the people see it only when children are grown up. The best saying here is “You value something only when you have lost it”
Now I can say that I have made wrong choices. As I have valuated work and money as the most valuated things for me. It sounds bad, but I have seen for most of people it is the same. When I I became full-time father, I have reevaluated those, and understood that was very stupid from me. Now I really see, that my family is most important, and no money will buy you this happiness.
This way of thinking, gave me a chance of learn new money making fields, now I see many more ways of getting money, and I it would take much less time from my time spent with my beautiful family.
I must say, that these changes are not so easy to implement, as it takes some working with yourself. The most difficult part here, I can mention, is to truly say to yourself that you were wrong. It is very hard for any person to accept the fact, that he is incorrect. For me it was easy choice as I see the reward you get. Now it is no problem for me to be with my kid, and day to day tasks are rather easy to accomplish. And I can see my kids cute smile every day.
To be continued….
Welcome to the world of fatherhood. Being a parent, can teach us so many things. I have an autistic son and there are so many things that I learn as I journey with him.
Wisdom From My Autistic Son: The Power Of Purpose
yeah it really does teach you many things:) will read it mate.
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I will be a father in the next few years I am sure. Being overly contained by your kids has me concerned. I would want to keep them busy and not have to watch over them all the time. For me, I do not want my life to be just about my kids and myself because there is so much out here for us, plus I want to continue to progress in the avenues I am currently and need to keep a strong focus in.
My point here is not to roll your life around your kids only. But the main life goal would be your family. Of course you have your own life and to spend everything on only your kid is inaccurate. you should do other stuff also, but let the biggest value be family not your career or money. There is big difference in that.
Yes of course that is a huge value and important. I just struggle with looking to do a bigger purpose with many more people and kids, mine or not. I agree with you 100%!
Changing habits is so hard! You're right that they change every single day. Especially when they are small. Learning new things all the time! And figuring out a schedule that works is also important. I used to not have a set schedule, but now we have a loose one that we follow and it works for us. Managing your time is difficult. Good post, superdad! I enjoy keeping up with your adventures! #theunmentionables
upvoted you. keep up the great work at home and online. thx again
You just earned my respect! This was such a nice post for so many reasons. Firstly, it shows that there are caring and understanding men/ dads like you out there. Secondly, you value the hard work moms put in for their kids. Thirdly, you gave some really meaningful advice all of which I am using since the past 2 months with my son and getting great results. I was using the rest of it before too but setting schedule wasn't in my regimen before. Now it is and it has made things easier for me. :)
I am really glad that this post was interesting for someone :) As it is biggest gratitude i can get with writing :)