You might be right.
You might be wrong.
Truth might lie in the middle, neither black or white.
All that does speak to a part of me. However, the answers might not be as simple as you want to believe it to be.
I have plopped myself and started working on / playing with music a few times lately. And truthfully, it hasn't been fun. I haven't really enjoyed the process. My head hasn't been in it. And the thought of pursuing it doesn't inspire excitement or joy.
Logically, from the motivation rhetoric like you've shared, it'd make sense to persist and "chase the dream." But, that was a dream of who I was rather than who I am today. And frankly, I don't particularly want to be the person who I thought I wanted to be when I was younger and driven by far more ego than wisdom.
At this point, I feel as though I'd die content if I let that dream slide and didn't fulfill it.
Granted, that doesn't mean it's entirely dead either.
The vision - and sense of inner guidance accompanying it - always was to get finances settled and a home base with studio in order first. Then full focus on music. One could look at that as procrastination, but it'd be arrogant to say that's 100%. You dont know another person's path and what they need and what their timeline is.
Part of me wanted to jump up into action at the hit of your feel-good motivation boost. But motivation boost isnt what I need where I'm at right now. And upon trying anyways and feeling the heaviness in my body, I gotta listen to my body's council about what it wants and doesn't want right now, not regurgitated motivation rhetoric that I've already subscribed to for years and burnt out on because I was trying to follow "guru" advice rather than truly get to know myself and elicit the inner council that will provide working strategies for me - not pushing and persisting endlessly in an unwinnable uphill battle because the whole personal development industry says so.
I'm planning to publish a story tomorrow that speaks important to this dynamic of advice - shall share the link here in this thread for reference...
I will be waiting for your story.