Dare to Say No!
Hi, everyone, how are you today? Hopefully always healthy and creative at work.
In our daily lives we often feel sorry that we cannot refuse when asked. For example, when a child asks for something, we always obey him for reasons of compassion. Feeling if not given, we will be considered cruel to the child. Children also pay attention to this. in fact, he learned that all his desires would be fulfilled by parents if he whined and cried. When crying, some even scream and roll around. As a result, we feel sorry and cannot refuse his request. If this is allowed continuously, parents will not be able to prevent or reject the wishes of the child. Children ask for toys because they are not given, they will cry. Parents finally have to give in and buy it. When he has grown up he will ask to buy a motorbike, sulk and finally the old man buys him. Luckily if parents have money. If when asked not to have savings, isn't this a complicated problem? In fact, to fulfill the desires of children until they have to be in debt and eventually entangled by a heavy burden?
Control excessive desire
Excessive and unreasonable desires must be controlled. Requests that are requested at that time must also be curbed. this is education in a family. If a child can control himself and then knows what is needed and is just a desire, it will certainly be the dream of every parent.
Therefore it takes a firm attitude filled with affection to instill a good attitude towards children. We must dare say no to them when we know their request is not right. not timely, improper functions and needs, improper place and ability.
The ways that can be done are as follows:
1. Communication
Getting good communication can make it easier for parents to condition children. Parents can explain to children that they must begin to be able to distinguish between wants and needs. If they already have toys and always want to have new toys, then give them a challenge to save, so that they can collect some money to buy them. Children will be more eager to save because they have a target to buy it.
2. Say no!
When we judge the child's request is not right we have to say no. Explain why we don't fulfill it. The reason for the time that is not right, such as approaching the exam is certainly not good at fulfilling the demand that has nothing to do with learning. Have the child postpone it until the right time. You can also say that there isn't enough money to buy it.
3. Let it cry
When we refuse to give requests, children feel disappointed and cry. Leave it alone. we must be firm. Do not let us lose because of crying children. If you cry in a public place, like a shop, market or other crowded place, say that if you cry, you will be left alone. Leave him for some distance but remain under surveillance so he doesn't worry about being lost. With this assertiveness, the child will feel that his effort is not useful and will follow his parents. It's a hard thing but this must be done because we love children.
4. Give a replacement
When the child asks then we don't give it according to his wishes, give another substitute. Can be food or drink. Give relief to the child when the request is not granted but he gets something that is also fun. children will be able to cheer up faster.
5. Give exemplary
parents must also set a good example. Do not then we forbid children from asking for something instead we ourselves buy things as they wish. If children see the positive side of their parents, they will surely grow to be mature and as we expect.
Thus my writing this time may be useful for all of us.
Thank you for reading my writing. I hope you enjoy it
Bahasa Indonesia
Berani Mengatakan Tidak!
Hai steemian semua bagaimana kabarnya hari ini? Semoga selalu sehat dan kreatif berkarya.
Dalam hidup keseharian kita sering merasa kasihan sehingga kita tidak bisa menolak jika diminta. Contohnya saat anak minta sesuatu kita selalu menurutinya dengan alasan kasihan.Merasa kalau tidak diberi maka kita akan dianggap kejam kepada anak. Anak juga memperhatikan hal ini. bahkan, ia mempelajari bahwa semua keinginannya akan dipenuhi oleh orang tua jika ia merengek dan menangis. Saat menangis ini ada yang bahkan sampai berteriak dan berguling-guling. Akibatnya, kita merasa kasihan dan tidak bisa menolak permintaannya. Jika ini dibiarkan terus menerus maka orang tua tidak akan bisa mencegah atau menolak keinginan anak. Anak minta mainan karena tidak diberi maka ia akan menangis. Orang tua akhirnya harus mengalah dan membelikannya. Saat dia sudah mulai dewasa akan minta dibelikan motor, ngambek dan akhirnya orang tua membelikannya. Beruntung kalau orang tua punya uang. Kalau saat diminta tidak mempunyai simpanan, Bukankah hal ini jadi persoalan yang rumit? Bahkan, untuk memenuhi keinginan anak sampai harus berhutang dan akhirnya terlilit oleh beban berat?
Kendalikan keinginan yang berlebihan
Keinginan yang berlebihan dan tidak masuk akal tentu harus kita kendalikan. Permintaan yang minta dipenuhi saat itu juga harus dikekang. ini sebagai pendidikan dalam sebuah keluarga. Jika anak bisa mengendalikan diri dan kemudian tahu mana yang menjadi kebutuhan dan hanya sekadar keinginan tentu akan jadi dambaan setiap orang tua.
Oleh karena itu dibutuhkan sikap tegas dipenuhi dengan kasih sayang untuk menanamkan sikap baik kepada anak. Kita harus berani mengatakan tidak kepada mereka saat kita tahu permintaan mereka tidak tepat. tidak tepat waktu, tidak tepat fungsi dan kebutuhan, tidak tepat tempat dan kemampuan.
Cara yang dapat dilakukan adalah sebagai berikut:
1. Komunikasi
Membiasakan komunikasi yang baik dapat mempermudah orang tua mengkondisikan anak. Orang tua bisa menjelaskan kepada anak bahwa mereka sudah harus mulai bisa membedakan antara keinginan dan kebutuhan. Jika mereka sudah punya mainan dan selalu ingin mempunyai mainan baru, maka beri mereka tantangan untuk menabung, sehingga bisa terkumpul sejumlah uang untuk membelinya. Anak akan lebih semangat untuk menabung karena punya target untuk membelinya.
2. Katakan tidak!
Saat kita menilai permintaan anak tidak tepat kita harus bernai mengatakan tidak. Jelaskan mengapa kita tidak memenuhinya. Alasan waktu yang tidak pas, seperti menjelang ujian tentu tidak baik memenuhi permintaan yang tdiak ada hubungannya dengan belajar. Mintalah anak menundanya sampai waktu yang tepat. Bisa juga dengan mengatakan tidak cukup uang untuk membelinya.
3. Biarkan menangis
Saat kita menolak memberi permintaannya anak merasa kecewa dan menangis. Biarkan saja. kita harus tegas. Jangan sampai kita kalah karena tangisan anak. Seandainya menangis di tempat umum, seperti toko, pasar atau tempat keramaian lain, katakan kalau kau menangis terus akan ditinggalkan sendiri. Tinggalkan dia untuk beberapa jauh tapi tetap dalam pengawasan sehingga tidak khawatir hilang. Dengan ketegasan ini anak akan merasa bahwa usahanya menagis tidak berguna dan akan mengikuti orang tua. Memang hal yang berat tapi ini harus dilakukan karena kita sayang kepada anak.
4. Beri pengganti
Saat anak meminta lalu tidak kita beri sesuai keinginannya, berilah pengganti lainnya. Bisa makanan atau minuman. Berikan kelegaan pada anak saat permintananya tak dikabulkan tapi dia mendapatkan sesuatu yang juga menyenangkan. anak akan bisa lebih cepat ceria lagi.
5. Beri keteladanan
orang tua juga harus memberikan contoh yang baik. Jangan kemudian kita melarang anak minta sesuatu malah kita sendiri membeli barang sesuka hati. Jika anak melihat sisi yang positif dari orang tua pasti mereka akan tumbuh menjad pribadi yang matang dan sesuai yang kita harapkan.
Demikian tulisan saya kali ini semoga bermanfaat bagi kita semua.
Hello @rokhani, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!
Regards appreciated @rokhani.
Interesting and valuable advice.
But we must also get into the minds of certain parents and other external factors. What do I mean?
.- Enter into the minds of parents. There is an instinct or feeling to please our children due to a lack lived in our childhood. The father who always wanted a toy and never had it. When he has his own children then he wants to give them.
.- External factors. The economic situation in many nations of the world pressures parents to say no. But they must do it with great pain in their hearts. Denying a request to a child can be very painful when he asks for food and you do not have the resources to provide it.
Thanks for sharing these tips. Excuse me if my vision of things is too realistic.
All best, Piotr.
You are totally right. your opinion is good vision and I admit it.thank you for reading even you give suggest.
Thank you @crypto.piotr
Hi @rokhani
Thanks for replying to my previous comment. I always appreciate people who engage back.
Yours
Piotr