Lose the identity

This post is also on SaesDeHonos.com

If you've ever tried to argue with people, you've probably noticed how stubborn some people can be. No matter how hard you try, they just don't seem to get your point. The more controversial the topic, the more difficult it can be to convince people, even if they are factually wrong. They might even get angry to the point that they'll start spewing insults and attack you as a person, totally ignoring the subject of the conversation. You might ask "how can I change their behavior?", but the more important question is: Are you doing the same thing?

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Almost every one of us takes identity from something. Be it either nationality, your favorite sports team, what music you listen to, what food you eat, political beliefs, etc.

Why do we take identity from different things?

Maslow's "Hierarchy of needs" theory is one of the most known ones, which suggests that we all have an urge to be part of a social group and feel appreciated. It all translates into a greater feeling of self-worth. Sometimes it's because of a life-changing event that we've had, be it either good or bad. Nobody wants to feel that their life is worthless and because the modern societies we're living in are pushing individualism, we're feeling even greater need to be something special. Unfortunately, this often leads us to feel entitled and to not care about other people as much as we should.

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What's wrong with taking identity?

When we simultaneously hold two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas or values, we experience a phenomenon called "Cognitive Dissonance." It leads to narrow-mindedness, which hinders our potential personal growth. The stronger your identity is, the more likely it is for someone to be unable to receive and rationally judge contradictory information. When we take strong identity from something, it will also create more division between people and causes us to see everything/everyone else as an enemy instead of an ally.

The Internet is one of the most powerful tools we have at the moment, but like everything else, it also can be used irresponsibly. For everything that we enjoy or believe, there's a place on the Internet with a community of like-minded people with whom we can share our beliefs and interests. The problem is, that if we surrender ourselves too much to these kinds of "echo chamber"-communities without strong rational mindset, it will only strengthen our biases and identity.

Of course, not every ideology, hobby or area of interest is equally as harmful to ourselves and the world. The only defining factor is the reality itself and the impact of your actions/inactions.

What should I do then?

First of all, I'm not saying that you should drop everything you enjoy and believe. You should however always question your beliefs and think about the impact of your actions. As contradictory as it may sound, the only thing you should take identity of is seeking the truth. As long as your intentions are pure and you keep your mind open, your chances of getting better results at life will increase immensely. The best part of it is, that it will make your life more satisfying and enjoyable, and that's something every one of us desires.

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