I hear it all the time, people talking about all the things they have to sacrifice to accomplish what they want in life. You have to give up so much to have children, or you have to forego so many things to have a successful career. You sacrifice freedom and promiscuity to get married, or you give up your weekends if you want to do charitable work. So on and so forth. I find it difficult, neigh, impossible, to empathize with these people. I don’t get it. If you feel like you’re giving up so much, why do that thing in the first place? I’ve had trouble understanding why I don’t feel the same way. Why does my life never feel like I’ve lost anything when I take another step to accomplish something? Why do the endless hours not weigh on me? Why don’t I feel any less fulfilled by being monogamous? Well, I’ve found myself an answer to this dilemma, and I’d like to share it with you.
Here’s the deal: sacrifice is all in your head. It’s entirely about mindset. The reason people feel like they constantly have to give things up is because they have a misguided understanding of life. Life is not a bunch of separate moving pieces and parts that need to come together. There isn’t a finite amount of space that can only fit so much. Getting rid of the tremendously damaging notion of sacrifice from your life is all about perspective, not about managing an unmanageable reality. Don’t get it? Let me explain.
Let’s say you have to give up $20 to get $40. Technically speaking, you sacrificed $20 to get that $40, but would you ever think of it that way? Probably not. You’d say, “Hey, I made $20!” That is how you need to think about life. All the different parts of your life are not separate currencies traded in exchange for each other. They are one currency, and spending some to make more isn’t sacrifice; it’s making more money. This is how I view everything I do in my life.
If I’m not making more “money” as the result of an action or decision, then I simply don’t do it. Why have kids if you’re constantly going to fret about everything you’re giving up? You’re losing value, not gaining it. Why get married if you’d rather be with many different partners? Life isn’t about letting go of things to move forward, or giving up certain things to get others. No, it’s about having the self-awareness to know how much value you place on things. Everything needs to be counted using the same measurement, and you’ll never have to sacrifice anything.
I’ve dispensed with the notion of sacrifice in my life. In fact, I can’t remember a time when I ever felt like I was giving anything up to do or get something else. You should probably do the same.
I appreciate your viewpoint, but if you would allow me to play devils advocate...I would argue that sacrifice is very real. Sacrifice is when you give up one thing you want, in return for another thing you want. I will give an example from personal experience. I wanted to live near family and old friends. I also wanted to travel the world and experience new places. I decided to sacrifice my desire to live near family and friends in order to gain new experiences and travel the world. I felt real pain and agony when I missed a birthday for a close friend or when I couldn't see my brothers at Thanksgiving. Just because I decided to travel does not mean I did not suffer for that choice. This was not the same as giving up $20 in order to receive $40, because the value I place on experiences with loved ones and the value I place on new experiences cannot be reduced to a dollar amount. There is no anguish in giving up $20 for $40 because one bill is indistinguishable from another, but experiences and people can be distinguished from one another; and time is limited and fleeting.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas. This is the way we learn from one another :)
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I think your comment demonstrates exactly what I'm talking about. You're beginning your examination from a worldview which already assumes that your desires are separate and fragmented. It's a limiting belief that forces you to adopt the feeling of sacrifice. Life isn't a series of competing priorities or decisions in which something must be given up. One's life is a separate whole, not the sum of many different parts. When viewed that way, the notion of sacrifice just disappears.