Hi everyone! I'm seventeen years old and my name is Max, my real name I won't be using, but I think that this will do. I live in the cold and icy country of Finland and currently I'm enjoying my yearly holiday time with the family. People downstairs are crying and arguing. The conversation has been shifting from the problems I've been having with my education to the planning of the party for the new year. Just a minute ago my mother told his father (my grandfather) that she has cervical cancer, she hasn't told me that yet, but i quess, that my mom doesn't want to worry me or my brother. I just want to open up to all of you and tell you a bit about my life, my almost perfect life and the roller coaster it has been so far.
Lets start from the beginning, basis, the start.
It was somewhere around february the year 2000. My mother had just gotten pregnant with me, by accident I suppose. My dad was just eighteen during that time and I, well I was about an early fetus during that time. My dad was a bohemian punk, who spent his time smoking weed, going over same old Marxist communist doctrins and smoking. Mom the other hand was studying in the university and that was great, because I probably would not be writing this without that.
Mom found out about her pregnancy during the time, my dad got literally insane. All the smoking weed, bad habits and lifestyles and wicked stuff from his childhood made his bubble pop from the weakest point and he went to a psychosis of some kind. My dad was taken to the local psych ward and later he was diagnosed with a bipolar disorder or something like that. Mom hesitated about the continual of the pregnancy, but our family encouraged her to keep up with the baby, and so she did.
Well I was born during the first days of the winter and in a way I'm a child of the winter because of that.
Dad wasn't around during the time I was little and I grew up with mom and her boyfriend. I never liked her boyfriend, he seemed like a scary person. In a way he is scary to be honest, but he is a good dude in some sense.
Dad was running a round the world, living his own life, doing drugs and partying. Some times he would take a second off and visit me. He would always bring me presents and stuff, so that's pretty cool.
He lived in India, Russia, The GB and all sorts of places so that's awesome in a way, but all in all he was a shitty dad. I could have used a real role model of my own genome, rather than a hateful prick that jumped into my life. I was lucky, that I didn't grow into a man hating beta-male like I could have grown.
Imagine the scenario: A boi used to live together with his mother, then some hyper male asshole, that isn't his dad or anyone else jumped into his life, acted as a threat to the little boy trough out his whole life, and the boy either grows into a normal male or a male who hates everything masculine.
School's out forever
The next memory rich part of my life started when I was about six, when I went to school. School was pretty nice, good teachers and pretty nice pupils around me. The place I live in is located pretty high up north, so the winters that I was born into and continued were pretty harsh. The parts of school that I remember from that period of time revolved around winter, for an unknown reason. The best I remember walking back home from school, hungry, cold as fuck freezing from my toes and fingers. It was agony in a way, but still pretty nice. You always had time to think, as you walked home. A lot of my thinking probably has rise from those times.
As any other kid, I also got bullied a bit. I'm glad that it never was that bad, but from like the first to the second grade, I got bullied by this one kid. He was smaller than me, so I tried to give it back as force, but only once I actually succeeded to give him a lesson, but the recess ladies came in to stop the "physical bullying". I got into trouble, but I think that was in a way the end of it.
Later during elementary school I got bullied psychologically, really bad actually. The group of friends I hung out with, they were really hurtful toward me, but they also protected me from any other force that could have gotten me.
Middle school turned up and that was some time indeed! Bullying had been left into the past, but a new thing came in to replace its harm. DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. I started experimenting with alc. in the late seventh grade, and it was downhill from there. I really liked drinking, in the lack of knowing anything about the world. Smoking weed also came into the scene and the first time I really got high, I was hooked. I loved it. It was everything I had been looking for in drugs and I just wanted to keep on blazing the 420 shit and living the bohemian life, that a kid could atleast imagine living.
As soon as my parents found out about me smoking that stuff, I was in trouble. Step dad had this image of weed from the Middle Ages and mom just told me I would end up like dad. I didn't want to stop smoking weed, so I did it secretly. I felt like I was trapped and being hunted, so I had to smoke more to keep my emotions and thoughts below my conscious and I did that pretty well. I was hanging out with the worst crowd to score my daily or even weekly weed.
Time went on and depression and anxiety started pulling me toward the harder stuff. Luckily I stayed away from all of that stuff.Time went on and school went to shit and by the ninth grade I realised that I had to study, so that I'd get to a good high school.
I got my shit together and even smoked some weed now and then. The time after ninth grade became really interesting, because I actually was living the ultimate bohemian lifestyle. I got me into all the student body stuff in high school and all the teachers loved me. I was doing all the fun stuff on my free time and got great grades too.
It's 3.30 am at the moment so I think I've got to stop writing, but I hope this opening of mine was a good reading experience. Excuse me for my grammar, but as a Finn, I'm not a native English speaker.
You all have a great night, I'm off to sleep now. I have a ton off stuff to tell you and I hope that you show some love or comment etc. so I'll know if this even gets read by anyon
e!
Congratulations @sameoldtrip! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPHi. I am @greetbot - a bot that uses AI to look for newbies who write good content.
I found your post and decided to help you get noticed.
I will pay a resteeming service to resteem your post,
and I'll give you my stamp of automatic approval!
Resteemed by @resteembot! Good Luck!
The resteem was payed by @greetbot
Curious?
The @resteembot's introduction post
Get more from @resteembot with the #resteembotsentme initiative
Check out the great posts I already resteemed.
Hey, welcome to Steemit! That's a pretty intense story and I hope your mother's cervical cancer is treatable. I've known people with this type of cancer that pulled through OK, so I'm sure there's a good chance that she will too.
Change one of the tags on this post to introduceyourself. You'll find it will reach a much greater audience and you'll get some great followers as a result.
Best of luck on Steemit!
Congratulations @sameoldtrip! You received a personal award!
Click here to view your Board
Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:
Congratulations @sameoldtrip! You received a personal award!
You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking
Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!