It's a gray day today.
Normally I would give credit for my current mood to the darkness surrounding me outside and push through.
Today I can not give the weather credit as much as I may wish to. Instead late night arguing and chaos are to blame.
I'm trying to pump myself up and get it done but as I scan the house the chaos lingers in the disarray that comes when parents are not available to be parents and kids are left to be kids.
I am trying so hard to be strong.
Trying so hard to be the reasonable, stable, calm protector and provider of my little ones every need. Today I doubt I have what it takes to get through this. To summon my strength and make the choices I know I must make. Today after three months of being told I can not leave I am worn down and worn thin.
I feel weak.
I know in my heart my choice for a separation is the right thing for my children and I.
The steps I take to accomplish that are not clear to me today though and it is difficult to see the path.
I will get through, I always do.
It would be nice though to have a little sunshine illuminating the path.
Believe in yourself. You are strong. You already know what needs to be done. Change is difficult, but necessary for growth. And happiness.
I'm sending you positive energy <3
Thank you for your kind and supportive words they are very much appreciated! I have been a bit isolated so it really means a lot to me to receive this affirmation 💜
<3
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