It is no secret that we humans are driven more by our emotions and feelings rather than just thought, though that is what most of us would like to believe. A lot, if not most, of our decisions are purely emotion based and that is completely fine.
The problem arises when those decisions are based off of negative emotions. We humans are capable of two opposite spectrums of emotions and feelings. The positive ones and the negative ones.
Granted that, some of the positive emotions lead to bad decisions as well, but almost all of your negative emotions-based decisions will end up being poor. One particular one that I want to talk about today is anger.
In my own personal opinion, anger is a really pointless emotion to have. No, I am not perfect and I too get angry at times but I recognise that being angry does no good and is kind of self-destructive.
Punishment For Others’ Mistakes
Gautama Buddha, perhaps the ultimate symbol and peace and love, once said, “To be angry is to let others’ mistakes punish yourself.” Isn’t that such an eye-opener?
When we get angry, it is usually because we perceive that other people made some kind of mistake in terms of actions, behaviours, words and what not that we deem as so repulsive that we immediately get angry.
When we get angry, not only is our mental peace destroyed, it even takes a toll on our bodies. Our heart beats faster, our blood pressure rises, there is an adrenaline rush, our breathing gets heavier, and all that ends up harming your body.
So, in a way, you are punishing yourself due to someone else’s mistakes. It does absolutely no good as far as the situation is concerned and so I think, that this emotion of ours is just pointless!!
Leads To Bad Decisions
Anger is such a powerful feeling that people lose all sense of logical thought and are only focused on the cause of their anger and to somehow get even with that situation or person.
This kind of animalistic intent totally negates everything about being a human. As humans, we have the ability to think and to perceive a given situation from many different angles and to take impulsive actions goes against that.
That’s why anger almost always leads to bad decision, which not only ends up harming you in many different ways but also your loved ones. All because of something that wouldn’t even hold meaning in the long term.
So, the next time you are angry, stop for a second, take a deep breathe and ask yourself, “Is it really worth it?”, “Will this matter 5 years from now?” That will probably help you regain some of the control back and hopefully allow you to make a rational decision.
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." - Gautama Buddha
That's exactly right.
Anger, though being a negative emotion, can be used as a tool if you know how to control and maneuver it. Kinda like how professional boxers and wrestlers use it as a motivator without letting it take over them.
But then again, most of us aren't boxers, so let's just keep our punches in our pockets.
That's the point. 99.99% of the people don't know how to manoeuvre it and so most of the times, it ends up doing bad.
Good one. No matter how angry we are it will definitely harm us. At the moment we can not predict future but for sure we will destroy our future & relationship due to useless anger.
Yes, correct.
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Actually when I was a kid I used to get angry on pointless things then one day my dad just told me a trick he said " whenever you get angry just count from 1 to 1000 in your mind and then you will see your anger disappear like magic" and I tried it and yes sometimes I reached 200 ,140,600 ,500 and my dad was right my anger always used to disappear sometimes I just used to laugh that what the hell am I just doing ?
Actually you can try this out it works.
Yeah, that's a legit technique that is used by a lot of people. It's something even psychologists suggest to people with anger issues.
Really great post, anger just harms us and our relationships.
Thank you so much :) Yeah, it does no good. Only increases the problems and sometimes creates new ones!
Anger was a must in the evolution.
This what allows the oppressed to stand and fight.
We are getting angry because this is the gene that survive, and it is here for a reason.
BTW ones that don't know anger, don't understand calmness as well...
like light and dark ;)
I don't know if anger was a must in evolution, as i have only read that only the fittest survive. Whether or not anger is an element of the fittest is not known, as far as I know.
Anyways, you bring up an interesting point that without anger we also wouldn't value calmness. But even then we should recognise and be aware that anger will only lead to destruction and try to do without it in the first place.
Hang on. There is one use of anger that I can think of... It's to inflict damage. Anger may help win a caveman fight... Is this mechanism useful in modern day society? No.
Yup, it could, but it's usefulness is decreasing in the modern day as you said.
Yeah, anger destroys almost everything and even ruins a lot of relationships.. But, I have always noticed that most of us don't stop to breathe and think.. we vent out and later in the day we realise what we have done and then even struggle to face it because of the ego we have..
won't be ashamed to say that I myself have done it on a couple of occasions.. but have gone ahead and sorted things out once matters cool.. hopefully everyone does it and we could really have more of a peaceful life.. right??
Yeah, if only people stopped for a while and considered their actions before taking them in anger. Yes, they realise it afterwards, but the damage is done by them already. Sometimes irreparably so.
Yeah, we could all live more peaceful lives. Gotta keep cool heads though!! Some coconut water could help in that, eh?
coffee or thumps up works for me :P
And maybe one of them bottles of juice? ;)
Ah yes.. Raw 😜
Yes indeed!!
"This kind of animalistic intent totally negates everything about being a human"
I disagree to a point, I believe that this is what makes us human, (as evidenced by the rampant hate crime all over the world which stems from anger) but that does not mean that what ever we do as humans is right. And I wouldn't say anger is point less because it is a mode of communication if controlled (https://www.impactfactory.com/library/assertive-communication-anger-management-technique
).
I agree, however, that as humans we have the ability to think and perceive and to stop ourselves from behaving irrationally, but I think its a question of whether we want to or not, because as the quotation you gave says, "...grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else" we all want to hit people with hot coals when we are mad :)
In any case, we should all try to minimise its effects in our lives, should we not? That is the basic point that I wanted to focus on.
True
Congratulations for this interesting post. I enjoyed the reading, Thanks a lot.
Thank you!!
When people think of anger we normally think of the raw, hot-heated type of anger, but there are actually many types of anger. While I mostly agree that the raw anger that you are describing is not a good thing, I do think it can track things in which we are not rationally thinking. For example, I might be mad about my girlfriend for not cleaning her dish after she eats and I overreact and scream at her. I've told her numerous times and she doesn't get it. Really, I'm not mad about the dish itself, but the fact that my girlfriend is not taking my feeling seriously (or something like that). Secondly, some anger, I believe, is extremely important. Not the anger you are describing, but what is commonly called "moral anger". When one views someone being discriminated against, or when they see someone has been wronged, one can get angry. This is not the hot-heated anger, but the more rational moral anger that one feels when certain things, such as an injustice, has occurred. I would argue that this anger is needed for, among other things, motivation to act against such injustices.
Yeah I agree! There are indeed use cases where anger can be used rationally and those ones are completely fine. My issue is with the anger that ends up ruining people's lives.
Cool Post.
However, I think that it is a mistake to suppress your own anger. Suppressing the anger causes it to intensify. I think it's important to allow yourself to be angry. Of course it does not make sense to hurt anyone by doing so ..
Yeah, I guess my main issue with anger is hurting others.
Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. Anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings, for example, or motivate you to find solutions to problems.
But excessive anger can cause problems. Increased blood pressure and other physical changes associated with anger make it difficult to think straight and harm your physical and mental health.
Thanks for this.