In a world that likes to talk, I find it really odd that nobody wants to listen, because if you’re talking, shouldn’t there be someone who is listening? Communication is a two way streak after all, right?
When I say listen, I mean really listen and understand and not just hear, which is what most people seem to do these days. Makes you think that if all that is happening is talk and nobody is really listening, what’s the point of it all.
Sometimes I feel that the world has become a really noisy place, what with all the various ways of communication that we have invented for ourselves. Everywhere you go, there is a literal bombardment of information that is thrown at you, whether you like it or not.
In the 21st century, where communication is as easy as thinking about it, there is one half missing and it is that of listening and that might just be the reason behind a lot of our problems.
The Interruptions and Distractions
There is no doubt that there are tons of distractions in our life and it is ironical that the means that we invented to bring us closer are ending up driving us further apart.
At a party or even a small gathering of friends, most are busy with their heads down deep into their smartphones concentrating on a virtual social network when the real one is right there in reality in front of them.
When someone is talking to us, we are constantly distracted by those pesky notifications on our smartphones and now even on our smart watches and we just can’t help but look.
But it is not only technology that is coming in the way of effective communication. Things like ego, anger, hate, and other similar negative emotions play a huge role in us not being able to listen and make us way more interested in pushing our own thoughts and opinions across.
Listen and Understand
Yes, it is important to express yourself and yes you are benefitted a lot by doing so, but listening is an art that is equally important and in my own experience, it’s a little bit more important than talking.
You see, a person who listens understands and it is the understanding of everything around us that makes us wiser and more knowledgeable. We see the world through the filter of our perception and thus we can miss a whole lot about it because of that filter.
If you listen to people and their stories, you open yourself to a slew of other views and that helps you widen your perception a great deal which is the single most important thing you can do for yourself.
After all isn’t life about growing? That seems to be the model that life itself is based on, in my opinion. The world and life itself are so complicated and dynamic and it is a deeper understanding of them that comes from listening to what is outside of you that will finally make your time on this planet worth it.
Plus if you listen to people, they are more likely to listen to you as well and then there can be an unrestricted flow of ideas that just wasn’t possible before. That is why corporations establish environments where such communications can take place which ultimately drive innovation.
Sometimes I feel like if everyone in the world just stopped for a second trying to convince the world of their ideals and opinions and paid heed to what the other had to say and consider for a second that they too can be right and their voice too matters, I think this would be a different world altogether.
There is great lesson in this post. Thank you @sauravrungta
Thank you for the kind words :)
those who do not know how to listen, do not know how to speak.
That has been my experience any way. How true it is.
True that!
True words totally agree with you my friend ;)
Thank you. I really appreciate it :)
There is nothing worse than trying to have a conversation with someone who doesnt listen to what you say and only waits to start talking themselves again...
exactly!! It's like your voice doesn't even matter!
So true, your article reminded me of one such moment :
We are at a colleague's wedding and my manager clicked it, next day he illustrated it in on slide in whole office, how 4 people sitting in a row are busy with their phones while they should be interacting. This was so embarrasing but yeah true and something we need to realise strictly.
Yeah it's kinda sad the society has changed into this. I hang out with people, who will take the phone away! As a joke ofcourse, but mostly we understand that we should put our phones away.
Right, we understand it all but still are so captivated by our phones most times.
Yup, this is exactly my point. We need to change this.
Listening is very much an art form. When we listen we need to be sure we are hearing what they have to say and not hearing what we think they are saying.
That's correct. It has to be natural and unfiltered.
Very well said. In a world where everybody want to be heard and express his/her opinion, it is really ironic that we forget that everyone have the same right and intention. If you want to say something be prepared to listen too.
Such a simple thing to understand and yet nobody does!
“We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.”
That's correct.
"You see, a person who listens understands and it is the understanding of everything around us that makes us wiser and more knowledgeable."
Very true @sauravrunta ! When we talk we don't learn anything. Listening enables us to learn!
I don't like it when people start talking, when they haven't listened to someone's whole idea or story.
I think this is one of the most important qualities we should have!
I agree. It's a quality we all should have.
Good advice and reminders... with all that is going on in this world it is important to slow down and actually listen and care for others - all voices matter.
All voice matters. So true.
This is so true! And it is VERY important to practice if you have children, we often lose our patience with them when they are actually trying to convey and emotion or feeling that needs proper attention. Much love, @sweetpea (founder of the Hobby Hub challenge: https://steemit.com/hobbyhub/@sweetpea/enter-the-hobby-hub-challenge-week-2-and-win-sbd-plus-winner-announcement)
Yeah, that's a very good point! Totally agreed.
You know, some people who listen too much dont know how to voice their opinion in the right way. Its often much harder to speak exactly what you mean, than it is simply not speak. Thats why people are speech shy sometimes I think.
Yes, that is a trait that most listeners share. They have vast knowledge but are unable to convey it properly.
Listening is a valuable skill. I an expatriate American who teaches English to Israelis. I teach on the phone for a company here in Jerusalem. In any case, today I had a student that had such a bad speech impediment that you really would have to listen carefully in order to watch for mistakes in syntax, proper vowel construction, etc., in order to give valuable feed back
Last week, I had the same student and I was really frustrated, even annoyed that "that I had to deal with such a student" in the first place, But today when I did indeed realize that the man I was speaking to has probably been "talked at " and discounted not only during a 15-minute English lesson, but quite possibly all of his life. It was then that I realized when I truly listened to the person and not just talked to him as though he were something to '"overcome," that I then realized that in that two-way exchange which took place between us that there was something valuable that came out of the encounter. Simply put. That word is appreciation for this man and his inner struggles and experiences.
It is certainly serendipitous that I should find your post today. Thank you for that.
I am so happy that you were able to see him as more than just something to 'overcome'. Everyone has their own struggles and we can't imagine what people with disabilities must go through everyday. Kudos, you are a good man :)
A couple ways to put into action that I am trying and seem to be working:
Fight the urge to think of a response while a person is talking so that can fully "listen to understand".
Give yourself permission to allow for the awkward silent moment after a person is done talking because if you have truly listened to understand, this should be the moment you are formulating your response.
Absolutely. Wittgenstein said it best - if you have nothing to say, then shut up and listen! (paraphrasing here!)
Sometimes people have nothing to say because they know it will fall on deaf ,dumb ears. Don't just shut up and listen, shut up and go find someone worth talking to.
That is so well put. Totally agreed :)
wow you've summed up the blogging world
hehe!!
Simple but definitely not easy to practice!
Listening allows us to understand a man more than his words, more even than the man himself - it ultimately allows us to understand the man the way he views himself in his own world.
That is so wise!! Totally agreed.
Simple but definitely not easy to practice! @sauravrungta
Listening allows us to understand a man more than his words, more even than the man himself - it ultimately allows us to understand the man the way he views himself in his own world.
sadly that is the norm these days bro. its either people are too busy getting their point across the other person that they don't even bother to listen what the other has to say. or they're too engrossed with using their devices to even care about whats going on around them. I love your post bro. I often look up your blogs to get some ideas and inspirations for my blogs. thanks for this my friend! keep on posting :)