(Over the last several years I’ve become far better at navigating life than I once was. I began to see clearly when I finally settled upon, and began consistently applying, a few Life Maxims—simple rules useful in guiding decisions and making sense of the actions of others.
These rules are not infallible, but I find that they work around 70 to 80 percent of the time. When they are wrong, they are wrong in ways that don’t cause much harm. But when they are right, they have massive benefits and/or prevent severe harm.
In hopes that my experience with these Maxims might benefit others, I’ve decided to publish a series posts describing them and how I apply them. This is Part 2 of that series.)
Maxim 1 reminds us to “never risk a lot for a little.” And Maxim 2 emphasizes that what whether something qualifies as “a lot” or “a little” depends upon its additional usefulness (its “marginal utility”) to the person making the decision.
Maxim 3 simply elaborates upon and clarifies Maxim 2 by noting that:
3. After a certain point, wealth and “things” always have diminishing marginal utility. Experiences do not. Prioritize experiences instead.
The saying that “money can’t buy happiness” isn’t exactly true. Psychological studies show that income levels and happiness levels are actually very positively correlated up to an annual income level of about $80,000 US dollars per year. After that, the correlation breaks down, meaning that even higher incomes don’t reliably improve happiness levels.
Multiple other studies have shown that money spent on things (a second, third or fifth home; cars; boats; extravagant clothes or jewelry; etc.) only very temporarily improves happiness. However, the happiness boost from spending money on experiences (trips, vacations, a date with one’s beloved, a good movie, etc.) is far longer lasting and in some cases is permanent.
This seems counterintuitive since “things” are certainly more enduring than fleeting “experiences”, right? But memories are powerful, and when we reflect back upon enjoyable experiences, we often unconsciously romanticize them. Very often the romanticized memory brings more joy than even the original experience!
So, when it comes to impacting happiness, pleasant experiences have stable or even positive marginal utility while things do not. Said another way, more money and more stuff does not equate to more happiness. More delightful experiences does.
But sometimes it can be difficult to differentiate between things and experiences. For instance, we recently bought an amazing beach home in Puerto Rico.
)This is undoubtedly a “thing”. However, in accordance with Maxim 3, we chose this specific home specifically for the EXPERIENCES it offers. For instance, we wake each morning to one of the most amazing beach and ocean views we’ve ever seen. Every evening we can watch the sunset from our balcony. The home is centrally located, so we can easily experience walking our daughter to school each morning (and give our dog a walk at the same time). Dozens of wonderful shops and restaurants, nightlife, our hair stylists, our workout facility, our doctors, the grocery store, etc. are all within easy walking distance of our place. The home’s convenient location combined with the ease of using Uber means that we only need one car.
So, while it seems like we bought a thing, what we actually bought was a continuing series of experiences.
As another example, purchasing jewelry would seem to qualify more as a “thing” than an experience for most people. And for Cindy it probably is (she often eventually gets bored with a given piece). However, for me, watching my beautiful woman wear lovely jewelry (it doesn’t even have to be new or expensive) is a never ending source of awe, delight and satisfaction. It’s that continuing experience that I cherish, not the jewelry itself.
)
A final example: As we renovate our new home, we are spending what many would consider to be a silly amount of money to install a dog shower (undoubtedly a “thing”) near the side entrance. Having a dedicated pet shower may seem like an unneeded, exorbitant luxury (and I suppose it is) that violates Maxim 3, but...it doesn’t. You see, few experiences (sunsets being one of them) delight my Cindy like watching our long-haired dog take “sand baths” on the beach. While I too enjoy that very much, the neat freak in me lives in a state of constant anxiety over all the sand he’s about to track into our home! That’s definitely a buzz kill for us both. If installing a dog shower near the side entrance gives of us hours upon angst-free hours of delightfully watching Nico play at the beach, then it’s money very, very well spent.
To conclude, always prioritize experiences over things and always judge the value of things by the nature and quality of the continuing experiences they will provide.
This is my best maxim and remains my number one priority.
You'll observe that when people grow old, certain things like wealth become unimportant to them but experience is not.
That's the reason people regret not doing so many things and gathering more experiences during their youthful days.
Thanks for sharing this with us. I've truly learnt a lot from this post. It's a great and inspirational post.
Happy Steeming
In fact, I think in our world today, a minimum of money is fundamental to happiness, as it gives you dignity and the freedom to act. Of course, I agree to what you say about prioritizing experiences over things.
As I was reading your post, I started to wonder, if one could always distinguish between the two, just to find you saying just that the very next moment.
I own a decent collection of paintings I bought over the years and this art is a treasure that never stops bringing me joy... another "thing" we have, is our motorcycle, and we spend a lot of our free time on it together and experiences have really enriched our lives.
The other day I had a "chat" with my friend Leo Plaw and the question came up, what someone spends their money on.. I think that correlates very nicely with what you state.. when you buy stuff for your image, it always remains stuff/things. When you acquire or do something to really enrich your life, it will also create the experience.
" Said another way, more money and more stuff does not equate to more happiness. More delightful experiences does. "
This is the most important part for me. You made a real definition of happiness. Some people misunderstand happiness. A lot of people do not know real happiness.
the position of your new home and it looks very nice. wake up to hear the ocean smell. Life is so beautiful in this way. to watch the sun sinking over the ocean every evening. these are amazing. I hope you live in happiness with your family.
I want to personally always stay you happiness, all the best my dear......
Nice advises, i assume you spend many years on trying different formulas until you found correct one. I agree with you that experiences are really important, sometimes it's really hard to make decisions, but personal experience always helps:) Thanks for the article:)
Experience life because once the old age will ask you - where your youth was. It is Croatian old saying :)
the view of the house is very beautiful.It would be great to sit at the balcony at night watching the sky and listen to the sounds of the waves.I would like to have such a house.Thanks for sharing.. @sean-king
@sean-king
And sometimes where the risk is there is a good chance,
thank you for sharing, so with your writing make me gain knowledge.
That’s some excellent advice. Focusing on experiences over things can be a hard lesson to learn for some but a very valuable one that will definitely enrich your life more than any “thing” that you buy. Especially if that thing is simply designed to break or be disposed of in a years time. :)
super post.Thanks for sharing this with us.A lot of people do not know real happiness.
Really true, you can buy anything in life with money but not happiness, it can possible that with money you can get temporary please but it will not called happiness, happiness is more deep feeling and it cannot be gained through any materialistic things. So at last i want say only one thing that happiness is the form of eternal. Thanks for sharing.
Have a great day and stay blessed.
hey @sean-king please vote me 😂
There is no better place than at home with your family:) I like your way of thinking. You are very wise guy. Your wife seems shining with you😊😊😊. Keep pamper her 😁 Women like that:))
I've been reading these as you share them on Facebook and absolutely loving them. Thanks Sean. :)
@sean-king Nice post :) I really like how you shared your personal experience to help us learn the Maxim rules :) Congrats on the new home btw.
Amen!! :)) I remember a few years ago we thought about going to Switzerland, but decided to save money instead. Being all proud of our “sensible” choice I went to Pier 1 and got an armchair for our New home. I don’t even recall where the wretched thing is right now, but I darn sure regret not going to Switzerland back then! 😂