There's nothing I love more than writing to destroy. It's a beautiful, protective act I do for no one but me. In today's class on writing for release and recovery, I had an amazing question of how we can free ourselves from the expectation that what we write will be witnessed. I was excited to receive this question because it's one I often ask myself. How am I going to get the words out without the fear of someone knowing that I had these thoughts?
My response was to change the process of writing. Instead of typing it in a file, grab a piece of mail from the trash and write all over it knowing you're going to put it back. Turn your paper upside down to thwart your mind's insistence that this is your usual writing. Tear through each line of words as you go. Even better, keep a metal burn bowl in your usual writing spot and burn after writing.
Writing NOT for a reader can be an incredibly challenging process. It's helpful to step outside your practice, perhaps even creating a new practice. Writers often get afraid of losing their work, but if the topic is important, it will keep showing up, often in unexpected ways.
Writing as an act of release means trusting there will be no judgment of the work you are doing. Even by yourself. We can be our own worst critics, so writing with the intention of destroying whatever inked the page is powerful. For women, even more so because we are taught to censor ourselves from a young age. To not trust our own thoughts, and especially to not trust others with them.
If you've ever sat down to write, you've probably experienced resistance. Your mind slides to other topics. This is self-protection. It's a neat trick to subvert that impulse by writing outside the box. And you deserve this.
What are the barriers you come up against when you write? What does your mind shy away from? Why don't you want to express it? What will happen if you express it only for yourself? Are you able to let yourself take that step with the suggestions above? If not, why? If so, what changed for you?
Writing can be a path to wellness. When we release what is trapped inside us by mental barriers, we are releasing stress from the body. In my classes, that is what we're focused on--freeing tension. From there, we can relax and recover. I hope this is the same for you! And if you have any thoughts on this, I'd love to hear from you!