We all go through some difficult situations sometimes and I really wished that I had some help beside all this pain. Luckily I found someone a few years ago who helped me being motivated and strong enough to withstand this kind of situations! For everyone who is new to my blog - here is an introduction of what this series is all about.
This first chapter will be all about MISSING. It could be the worst pain you ever felt before but also a great motivation at the same time. There are different levels of missing a person who is special to you. For example when you will never be close or with this person again, when you wont be able to see each other for months, when someone passed away and a lot more. I know that my tips wont work for everybody but I feel the need to show you some ways that helped me and still do. But before we start, please make sure to be open for new techniques, dont judge before you didnt try it out and put all other stuff by side that you are doing right now because you wont be able to change anything if you dont put all your attention in it!
I am not a professional psychiatrist or psychologist. As I already told you above, I want to show you some techniques that helped me to handle the pain.
Let me start with the situation of being apart from a special person that you really love for months.
First you need to accept the distance between you and this special person. Realize that some one is pursuing a dream, job or even a hobby and the distance is maybe an essential. If the distance is just for a limit time, you will know that this hard time will come to an end. Ask yourself these following questions :
How will we stay in touch?
How long will this person be gone for ?
Nowadays we have so many possibilities to stay in touch with each other. Facetime, Skype, Social Media in general, Smartphones, cameras, calls and so on. You wont be able to feel this person or to sense his/her aura but you can talk or see this individual at any time as long as you both have wifi or phone reception. My best ways to go through that pain with a clear mind is to make a plan with a lot of activities. In my case I love to work on my skills, being a better person from day to day and surprise the loved one with the best version of myself. I have enough time to go to the gym, read a lot of books and make great plans for the future when I´m reunited with the person I miss so bad. It wont help any of you if you stay at home, cry in your bed and make each other sad. Distance is just for a limited of time and make the best of it no matter how hard it is! But its still important to stay in touch! Listening to the voice of the person you adore will calm you down and reduce the pain. Regular updates will make you feel that you are still a part of his/her life. I believe that if you support the person that you are missing, it will weld you guys together.
In French, you don’t really say “I miss you”, you say “Tu me manques” which means “You are missing from me”.
- Avoid hibernating at home
- Stay connected with friends or family
- Increase your brain power
- Now it´s time to quit coffee addictions and smoking
- Put on positive and classic music
- Write down your thoughts
- Think about the moment when you are reunited
Now I want to talk about the situation when you and the special person go distinct ways
It´s never easy to let someone go. Especially when you spent a lot of time with each other and had plans for the future. I personally never had the feeling of letting someone go that I loved so hard which hopefully never happen. But it happen to many people and here are some ways how to overwhelm the pain.
I want you to think why it happen that you guys go different ways now. Did you have a conflict with each other? Did someone betray each other? Doesnt he/she love you anymore? Try to find an answer first before you start crying. Analyze the situation and try to handle it with my following tips. Make sure to search for a conversation before you leave each other. There is always something to talk about especially when you spent a lot of time together and showed love. Dont be stubborn and hear to what the person is trying to tell you. Take the criticism and work on it, maybe there is a way to get back together if both find ways to deal with the problem. Its always good to know why it happened how it happened. I believe your soul needs the knowledge to go on and be happy again. Ask yourself the following questions :
Why am I in this situation?
How will both be happy?
“That’s the worst way to miss somebody. When they’re right beside you and you miss them anyway.”
― Pittacus Lore, I Am Number Four
- Allow yourself some time to be sad - but only some time
- Rediscover things you loved
- Do your favorite activity
- Go out with some good friends
- Exercise
- Read! Take some time and search for a few books, they will distract you.
- Replace negative thoughts with positive ones
- Don´t think about what the other person is doing!
If someone passed away...
This might be the worst feeling I could ever imagine. Having some one you loved passed away is nothing you can deal with by nature. It is something you can´t postpone or talk about later. This stroke of fate happens when you least expect it. I dont have the perfect way to deal with it because I can not imagine the pain people go through. I only have some tips that might be useful ... I am a believer but not in a religious way, so some readers may wont agree with some of my hints but thats completely okay.
- Try to think positive no matter how hard this situation might be
- Think about that the loved one will have a great life in heaven
- Try to think that you guys will meet in something similar like afterlife
- Your loved one will will protect you forever and always
The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love.
—Kristina McMorris
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As I told you above, there are different levels of missing and different connections with people you are missing. But we are all stuck in the same situation and we want to make the best out of it. Staying at home, crying in bed wont help any of you. There is so much to love and be grateful for! To live means to love. I know its hard sometimes and also a soldier went through some hard conditions but you will grow if you master it!
You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it. - Unknown
Of course I want to mention that everybody needs to find his/her own way how to handle the pain. The mentioned ways wont work for everybody! Its important to be comfortable in what you are doing. If I couldnt decide, I always hear what my heart is saying. It maybe sounds a little strange or awkward but its still true. My heart always tells me what to do when I´m in difficult situations even if my mind tells me differently.
Do what you love and stop thinking positive !
Thanks for reading
Stay focused
Love, Soldier
Thank you. Very helpful. One of the things that helped me survive was the phrase "no one is coming". It might sound weird, but to me, it meant - I had to show up for me. I had to be the hero. That's when it started to turn around for me. When I showed up for me.
Keep up the great work! And please follow me, I have some amaaaazing posts planned.
: )
#payitforward
Exited for your upcoming posts :)
Great aspect you put it, you really need to be your own hero and i understand what you mean by " no one is coming"
The first picture whit you in it looks like a renaissance painting
Such beautiful words, I'm so lucky to be married to the person I love.
You can call you blessed for sure! Being married to the right person must be an amazing feeling !
Ah! I'm the lucky one 😘😘
almost brought a tear to my eye, but then I remembered I can't cry.
👍👍👍
The heart never lies! Great post :)
agree 100%
Glad that you like my post!
Yes it's important to always think positive no matter what. Distance will only last for some time and it's the perfect time to rediscover yourself and grow as a person. Maybe find some new activities and hobbies that could give you some positive vibes. Locking yourself in a room doing nothing all day won't help. It's important to live your life and be happy. You are the only one who can make yourself positive or negative. It's all a choice :)
Great post and awesome tips !
Resteeming.
Thanks so much! Appreciate your support!
Thanks for sharing and drawing from your personal experience to share with the Steem community.
Definitely some great tips and some of them I have used in the past.
Glad you liked some of my tips!
Hey, maybe it will help someone to overcome their sorrow.
A lot of people do not know how to keep a balance.
Thats a great aspect !
it's crazy how i'm confused about certain situations or what exactly i need to do everyday.
We just need to live! i like your first picture :)
Hope you are well, soldier.
I am good, thanks and you?
You should really just be happy, enjoy life and think positive no matter how bad a situation might be !
going out for dinner soon with my mom! its going well this weekend.
There's some negative experiences we have, but I admire how you've learned and spreading your influence for us. Beautiful pictures sure help with the message! Have a nice rest of your evening (assuming you're in America) !
The power of love is extraordinary.
True !
We need more people like you .
You make me remember why I love a special person
Thank you, appreciate your lovely words !
so amazing it gave me goosebumps!
Makes me happy to hear that <3
My best friend passed away over 2 years ago, I am still not getting up at times, it's hard to motivate yourself, still after so much time. I can't live my old life again. If someone has some good ideas for me, I would be very, thankful.
Oh, Tyrone, that is so hard. I'm so sorry for your loss. Our society doesn't allow much space for grief, and it is very important to go through the process in order to get to the other side. Are you getting support through this process? A trusted friend, supportive community, or counselor or something similar? There are ways that you can help yourself move on, but with grief, it is very important to have support while you go through it. I'm writing a piece on grief soon; perhaps it will be helpful.
I really like that in every post you make there's a steemit sign "hided" :D
You have a deep and reflective thought
Thank you for the sincerity of the feelings
Whenever YOU are missing someone or anything, YOU are there with YOURSELF.
Many people need to know and learn how to be independent. Many people need to love themselves.
Missing someone else often helps a person find themselves. Find what it was about that other person that you liked so much and put those characteristics into your own life.
Great text! Loved it!
@soldier i'm very amaized
Great post! One should always remember the tips if they are away from the person they love.
With any loss we tend to feel the world is against us. I find that having a purpose that I can work on devotedly has helped me in situations of loss.
I must thank you for the post. I have lost several people in my life and found myself just isolating myself with the fear of getting close to people and then losing them. Once i accepted it and realized that they would never want me to live like that I grew stronger. I have taken each death as a way to grow stronger and honor them by being the best person I can be. I owe it to them. Great post.
Great story :)
Upvoted.
This is a fantastic two sided story...
In one hand, your story, really emotive indeed!
And in the other hand, all the crazy men that with your picture in here again (I guess) and the story of loneliness, just started to get crazy in love thinking to have a chance in giving a shoulder to cry... hahaha really like this! That's woman power , my hero.
Because makes me see the human nature in the opposite way that your words explains. If people is so superficial... Better alone than in bad company. At the end, you are the Lucky one!
The vote number 100 is mine to you.
Ah... And I didn't saw your picture. Just tried to close my eyes at that part to write from the heart. :)
There is sadness in eyes!!! But our species have the ability to rise above in evey occasion !'
You are so gorgeous and amazing ! i really begin to like your posts ..keep rolling
such a beautiful post with great message
The heart want what it want's
Thank you for your tips. I remember when my sister died of cancer in 2005. I went to a bereavement class. It seems to help when you can talk about your loved one. I knew that if I was going to heal I would have to talk about my sister. Funny how I did go to a family gathering and the family on my dad's side would not even bring it up. I guess they are afraid to talk about her. So I would talk about my sister the good and bad memories. It always help me to talk about it. People around me think it is not good to talk about it. It did help me to talk about her.
Loved it.
I like your post , thanks for sharing @soldier
So beautiful your words in this post @soldier. Love is wonderful, I´m grateful in life for being happy to my family and close people I love. Thanks so much for sharing this. It´s too original, concret and beautiful. Greetings! :)
Lovin your post like this ,amazing said . Uv
Distance from the one you love can be the worst feeling, I have had that experience but when you have at the back of your mind that it is only temporal the heart gladdens...
This post is full of knowledge and I like every bit of it... Keep it up
This is so sweet and very helpful. Well thought out and well written. Comforting to read.
Wow, so deep!
Missing someone will either motivate or depress the person. Good thing, we this experience for us to grow emotionally.
Thanks @solider for this post.
Great post.. I love it :*
This is amazing. Theres always a light at the end of the tunnel and its great that you posted little reminders like this to help the ones who need it, regain hope. Thank you:) xoxox @soldier