Wow Max. You are literally telling my story as well.
I woke up about 3rd grade gripping my desk realizing the 'grown ups' were absolutely insane. I knew everything I was hearing and seeing from our culture was a deception.
I realized that school was programming my mind towards sociopathy and that I needed to do everything I could to hold on to the feeling I had within myself.
Life became very very difficult, but after holding on for over 30 years I began to see the collective mind reflecting what I knew for so long.
I also thought the entire time that something was wrong with me. I carried that feeling for decades. Every single day was difficult to wake up to and I found myself disassociating from the world.
I also became an artist and a musician.
Then 9-11 happened and I knew I had a purpose on this Earth.
It is so gratifying and healing to hear others speaking from the same mind.
Thanks Max, I've subscribed.
Many thanks for your comment brother