Long about 2 a.m., sleepless and "this close" to having an anxiety attack, I remembered something important, rolled over, and slept like a baby.
Susan here. It's been a few days since I popped by for a visit. Between 1.) scurrying to catch up on client work after an unusual amount of road time, 2.) battling a growing addiction to publishing and reading on Steemit, and, 3.) an unexpected opportunity for some personal growth, I haven't been in a good space to visit with you. Ever have the feeling of being...
Unfit for Human Consumption
While the balance between writing for clients and writing for myself will still take some doing, I think you might find yourself in the same situation I had in #3 - an opportunity for personal growth.
The scene(s):
1 - A student who'd shared a bit of her story had so moved me that I chose to go above and beyond to help her get her business going. I did. It wasn't enough. She demanded more than what I was prepared to do. She got in my face. I allowed it to bug me. Being bothered woke me and I lost much-needed sleep because I chose this.
Finally, I remembered that:
a.) My business is my business.
b.) My boundaries are my boundaries.
c.) It's up to me to draw the line and stand by it.
d.) My sanity is mine to protect. I am not at the mercy of what a stranger thousands of miles away thinks of me. I can block and delete and go about my business.
e.) By allowing myself to get derailed by one person, perhaps I was also letting the folks I'm meant to help down.
f.) This has happened before, and by refusing to learn the lesson, it's like signing up for the lesson again.
g.) That's dumb.
Voila. Slept like a baby.
2 - Bob Bly, out of the blue, asked for a copy of my book, "You Write, They Pay " - signed. After fangirling a bit, I signed one, mailed it, and forgot about it. Then I got this email from him:
Thanks for the book. Just finished chapter 1 and I must say that as far as being a writer of business advice books, you’ve nailed it. You have a direct, no-nonsense style with each page filled with wisdom in plain English. So much better than most of the business books I read which are overwritten, overblown, and high falutin. Kudos to you. Now back to chapter 2. I urge EVERY freelance writer to read Sue's book You Write, They Pay.
Bob Bly
Being that Bob Bly was one of the first copywriters I ever encountered - and that I've read many of his books about the writing business, this was HUGE for me. To have such an accomplished virtual mentor say such kind words felt pretty surreal.
The Personal Growth Part
It boils down to this: Am I good or bad? A good writer or a bad one? Helping people or not? Does this sound familiar to you???
One answer is in the eye of the beholder. Another is mine alone - because I can see from the inside.
I'm reminded of this fable from Aesop:
A Man and his Son were once going with their Donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said: “You fools, what is a Donkey for but to ride upon?”
So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: “See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”
So the Man ordered his Boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn’t gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”
Well, the Man didn’t know what to do, but at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said: “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey of yours and your hulking son?”
The Man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, when the Donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge, and his fore-feet being tied together he was drowned.
“That will teach you,” said an old man who had followed them:
“Please all, and you will please none.” (OR... if you try to please everyone, you'll lose your ass.)
Things are still crazy busy, and I am SO excited about opportunities that Steemit offers that it's hard to concentrate on the work that pays today's bills... but at least I feel like I took back my own personal power, and that makes all the difference.
Hope this was helpful to you, too.
Sue
P.S. If you know someone who'd like to learn about freelance writing as a business, my book might help - and it's going to be free on Amazon tomorrow (Sunday, 8/14). I'll post the link tomorrow. If there's interest, I'll also post a coupon code to give Steemit peeps free access to my course (Working Writer, Happy Writer).
Written with StackEdit.
@steemitpatina your amazon book and course certainly sound interesting.
I guess I see professional writing on 2 levels.
As I think you said(?) we can't let other people stop us. They may not get our why. They often don't care about our why ;-)
Bottom line some clients are just too needy and a PITA. Or are power freaks and won't let you do you job, the way your experience/skill tells you it should be done. They want to micro manage and really write it themselves.
It's certainly never been intuitive for me, and during "Hungry" times it seemed an insane thing to do, but "sacking your clients" is one of the most important things any entrepreneur/writer can learn.
Sometimes you just have to realise when you don't "fit" with a client or a project and just say no.
A writer has to have their own personal guidelines and be strong enough to say "no".
Of all the words in my writing arsenal, "no" is the most precious of them ;-)
Preach it! Yes, in total agreement there.
I regularly fire clients - well, I did until I pruned away the ones who were not a good fit. This instance was with a newbie writer... and that's long been my soft spot - but "no" remains the most precious of words.
Yes please! your stuff sounds interesting.
I've always wanted to make more of a living from writing so your experience would be useful.
I'm sorry but who is SANPAI in the cat photo? Is she a famous writer I don;t know?
I would be very interested in your course and I look forward to picking up you book tomorrow. Thank you for sharing so generously.
Valuable lessons here. Thanks @steemitpatina
yes please. i'd love to read your book
how advanced do i need to be to take the course?
i've not written professionally, well only my blog, but that doesn't make me any money.
@michelechristian, you don't have to have any experience at all to take the course - or to start a freelance writing business. I had no paid experience, no portfolio, no website (although it's more important now than when I got going), and no 'relevant' degree. What's more important is insatiable curiosity, a love for reading, and solid writing skills. I'll be posting the link to the book today - hope you'll like it!
There's interest. :)
haha - Looks like it! Will do.
I like the way you handled the student you tried to help who got in your face. You are correct...sometimes it truly seems that no good deed goes unpunished but we must chose to not allow it to consume us. can't wait to see the book