I really had no idea that men also struggled with this. I commend you for your bravery. The body dysmorphia is usually caused by something more internal, and although I know this may not help you, I do realize that the emphasis placed on looks is part of the problem. I had similar issues for most of my youth but they tended to go away once I began the healing process and focusing more on internal things I had more control over. The fact that you do not have control over your physical appearance is perhaps connected to your affliction. I know you won't believe this, but people do fall in love with others not based primarily on looks. Looks fade, the soul does not. My advice is to form relationships with people who care about you and focus less on physicality.
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Thanks Stella I know it is internal just not how to fix it. I just find it difficult to accept that I have no power over how I look. Its a thought similar to something like "you will never go back to your childhood". Its hard to accept because once you do its painful. I appreciate the kind words.
I think you just answered your own problem by your admission, "I just find it difficult to accept that I have no power over how I look."
I think your main fixation lies in your inability to have control over life's course. There is something that is scared within you about the lack of control. Look into that area for your solutions. Life is not controlled by us and things happen to us that we have no control over. This fact used to drive me insane. I wanted control. It took many years for me to admit that I don't have control over how others view me. I can decide what sort of person to be, but I cannot control how they react to me. I think your problem lies in this area. Your problem is deeply ingrained in your psychology. The only thing we have control over is our reactions to life. I sense that you are scared of being emotionally controlled by others.