First: Spain, I love ya. <3 Thank you for reaching out so much, and I am sorry that I haven't been in contact nearly as much as I should. I will work on that!
I understand the pain and guilt you feel, but I want you to try to eliminate that feeling, if you can. Or try to move on from it in a positive way.
One thing that I CAN say about my dear friend is that she could not be moved or swayed from her ways or thoughts easily. Which isn't really a bad thing, unless so much of their life is pain, negativity, and sadness. Which it was. Positive sentiments, encouragement, and advice did not go far with her, and that is okay. But it made it so hard to help her. And especially to save her from herself.
I have found that regret is one of the strongest, and at the same time, most futile feelings to experience. Please don't plague yourself with the could haves and should haves. Down that road lies madness. <3 <3 <3
no, in the end, I am pretty cool with it, and have mostly given up regrets.
Certainly this one is without true power, because I was still removed enough from the person, I only knew of her.
It's more her connection to you, it is insane to find myself only one person removed again, from someone who ended up there.
But believe me, thanks for noting and for caring.
I hope I can help you soon. I hope I can steer you towards external help, it's not really that I can do sweet fuck all, personally.
I just know some things that have helped me so much over these last few insane years.
I have a few tools in the old toolbox these days, and can get them out to knock people over the head with, that's all
haha
hope we talk at some point
I am stepping back just a bit from both steemit and discord, trying to get it to something not life and sanity threatening.
but you shout out and I am there
big hugs