It is rapidly approaching my mother's birthday, and I wanted to do a little post about the woman that made me the delectable shade of strange that I am. My mother is a beautiful, weird, metal, hilarious, geeky, gothy, pirate wench. And I carry that with me in more than spirit. We are practically carbon copies, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
My mom was married to my dad until I was 11 or 12, when a messy divorce happened. It is a really interesting story that I won't put here for there are a lot of family members that still fight over the details, and honestly, it really doesn't matter except in context. I all but lost touch with her as she was bounced around in the world, struggling to find happiness and meaning when her whole world since she was 18 was my father and then raising her two children until she couldn't anymore. I remember getting a package on one of my birthdays, it was a backpack shaped like bat wings. I adored it. Even though there was currently another woman at home that had usurped her, she could never take my mother's place in my heart.
When I was 18 and living in Turks and Caicos with my high school sweetheart, I received a message on Facebook. I remember the night I got that message so clearly, the balcony doors were open, with a light rain pattering down. The smell of wet dirt and hint of sea water in the air. Smoking a cigarette at the computer in the corner when the icon lit up.
She had waited until I was of age to decide if I wanted anything to do with her. Long years, she counted down the days, waiting for me.
After my boyfriend and I broke up, it was a whirlwind. He left me in the middle of the night, throwing a packing party with a bunch of friends so I returned to a home torn apart and empty. I spiraled hard down a path of self destruction, dragging my best friend down the rabbit hole with me. But my mom was there, and she offered me a place to live, she had found stability and a person that loved her dearly, and they would take me when I had no where else to go. I packed some of the small things I owned, mainly corset shirts and broomstick skirts, journals, and packed them into my best friend's car. We met my mom at a parking lot, it was the first time I had seen her in years, and I embraced her. It was like everything, all the hurt, just... melted away.
I had my mommy back. And man, I needed her.
I wish I could tell you that my self destruction stopped there, but it didn't. However, I always had my mother to pick up the pieces after.
Over the last 11 years, my mother has taught me so much about myself, and how alike we really are. She taught me not to be ashamed of my needs, my body, and my desires even if they are "unconventional". She taught me that the human body isn't something to be inherently sexualized. She taught me strength. She taught me to always be open and to be myself even though it rubs people wrong. She taught me not to be taken advantage of.
"Put on your Domme boots and put that shit in his place!"
"If they don't like it, fuck 'em!"
"They're pulling you around by your tits, wake up!"
"No. You do NOT need another shot."
The kind of open communication and relationship that I have with my mother is unlike anything else in my life. I can tell her anything and everything. She is understanding, rational, and will still pull out her mom shoes to beat me about the head with when I need it. I wouldn't trade it for a traditional mother/daughter relationship if you put a gun to me.
Playing DnD, liars dice, drinking vodka, watching ghost shows, going for a skinny dip (or chunky dunk as we call it), and laughing all night until our faces hurt are my favorite things to do with her.
Above all, seeing her happy with her boyfriend is the best feeling in the world. I think her whole life was pulling her to Perry. They compliment each other in ways that I didn't think were possible. Even after 12 years, while working at home, he gives her multiple kisses and says he loves her before going into the office after breaks.
Sitting between them as they bicker with each other fills my heart with snarky Stitchybitch joy. But seeing how he holds my mother... I could never wish for something more perfect for her.
He is her Gomez.
Sitting in a black, red, and grey painted house filled with jolly roger flags is the silly bitch that makes my life better every day just for being my mother.
The woman that will get in a mosh pit with no hesitation.
That headbangs with wreckless abandon.
That will pour you a drink when shit is shitty.
That shouts HUZZAH.
That twirls glowsticks with the best of them.
That rocks a T-shirt or a corset.
That says no to all conventional methods.
That will be ready with a perverted or dark joke when I am not quick enough.
That will pull out some full tilt geek shit.
That dyes her hair crazy, beautiful colors.
That is one of the most hilarious women I know.
Thanks for being my mom, and I love you!
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stitchybitch's mom is an awesome gal and is indeed Morticia to stitchybitch's Wednesday. I can attest to that, because I know them both personally guess that would make me Lurch...
Very sweetpost! a mothers love is like no other and only those that truely appreciate it know it's value...
I know, look at me getting all tender. I'm going to have to snark general so hard to keep my rep.
Even those with a sneak attack tender moment can continue with their evil ways :) love ya girly and all your evilness
Aww, that's really sweet. I'm happy you two were reunited.
Me, too! I couldn't imagine life without her and her shenanigans!
I'm glad you had the open heart to forgive her absence. So many people can't get that far, and sometimes that's fair, but it really seems like you and your mom have a lot of love for each other.
That is another thing she definitely taught me besides manners that border on the absurd, was unconditional love and forgiveness. She is a wonderful woman.
And we do. <3
I love this stitchybitch! So raw and honest. The beauty of a mother daughter relationship is that it's like none other. No matter how long its been since I've spoken to my mom we pick up where we left off. It's wonderful you are true to yourself and that she taught you to be yourself no matter how "unconventional" The beauty is that you are different and make the world vibrant and not so boring! Steem on and say hi to your mom for me!!! She sounds like a rockin' lady. :)
I will tell her hello for you!
And you're right, there really isn't anything like it!
She has always encouraged me to be my weird, geeky, out of the box person and without that encouragement, I'd hate to see the person I would have become. Paint the world in the colors you love!
Great art work!
@stitchybitch
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What a beautiful real take!! Just like you!
Thanks for sharing. It's a moving story!
What a great post, and how nice that you got back together again just when you needed her most!
Yo momma is da bomb!
She reminds me of some of my crazy friends.
I'm glad you two found each other again.
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Much Love Waves in here.
Your mom sounds cool as F.
Thanks for sharing the sentimental side of stitchy.
This is such an open, honest piece of writing. So happy that you found your way back to "home" There is absolutely nothing like it.
<3 lovely !!