If you are fortunate enough to have no grudges or resentment towards anyone in this world then you are truly blessed.
I say that because it can be very difficult to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply.
Forgiveness is a process. You don’t necessarily forgive someone in an instant. It takes time. And you may not even end up forgiving them 100%.
I think the first step is wanting to forgive. A second step that helps is knowing your “why”. Why are you forgiving this person? Reasons can be varied of course: just to be civil and get along; to be the bigger person; because your wife told you to etc. etc.
The last reason- forgiving for the sake of someone else- is not as powerful as forgiving for the sake of a higher power. For example, when you forgive someone for the sake of God, seeking only God’s pleasure, something happens inside you. There is no real chance of arrogance as may be associated with forgiving to be the bigger person. Also, when you try to forgive just to be civil and get along, there’s a chance that animosity still resides somewhere deep down. Forgiving because somebody told you to takes away some of your decision making and makes the deed less voluntary and may even lead to mild resentment towards the person forcing you to forgive!
Forgiving for God’s sake, seeking only God's pleasure is a powerful way of removing arrogance, animosity and resentment. It is also humbling. You cannot feel arrogant when you do something for God because whatever you do, you can never repay God for what He has given you. You cannot feel animosity or resentment when you do something for God because their is an element of choice in your decision- you have chosen to forgive this person for God’s sake. This is empowering and humbling at the same time.
So try it some time. If there is absolutely anyone in your life who has hurt you or disappointed you, forgive them. Not for them, not for yourself, but for a higher power. It will not go unnoticed and you will prosper emotionally.
Who have you forgiven and how did it feel? Or who do you want to try to forgive?
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Thank you for the reminder. We are all only human, and need to keep in mind that fact. You are not God and you are in no position to ultimately judge. You can only control your own reactions.
It does no good to keep wounding yourself by revisiting an old hurt when that person likely doesn't even remember giving it to you. You don't have to let it happen again, but allowing the scar to heal slows and eventually stops the pain from oozing out.
Love your thoughts there, and yes we don't have to let anything happen and it is about allowing the time for scars to heal.
@shinypenny that is a very good point- sometimes people don't even know they have hurt you! Controlling our reactions I think is key to a happy life. It takes work and mastery though! Thank you for your comment!
Muy importante este artículo sobre el perdón.Este proceso es necesario no solo por el hecho de lado el resentimiento o la acción negativa provocada por el hecho tal que llevó a esa reacción. El perdón es más hacia uno mismo ,el dejar fluir y olvidar el hecho causante, y al que perdonamos dar una lección de amor.
Yes @nandi, that is an excellent point which I didn't even think about! We can say that forgiveness is more about battling yourself than it is the other person. Love is set free once we let go of resentment.
Thank you for sharing. Most people have an attitude of forgiving but not forgetting and I can't see that as true forgiveness. For me, true forgiveness is when the relationship is right back s it was before, unbroken and whole again.
What do you think?
Yeah I totally agree. But it's difficult to do that sometimes! It's easier to forgive some people, like family for example. But it takes a person of great character to forgive all people. I guess it just takes work. Thanks for your reply!