Hi Steemit friends,
You may have toxic people in your life, you might not, you may be one for someone else……
We all deal with a toxic situation. As social animals, it is a necessity that we learn how to engage them and embrace them wonderfully.
We all deal with this, you are not alone.....
Have you ever had the thought that life would be sooooo much easier if it weren’t for the people? Everything is so just too complicated by human beings. I am sure you are now thinking and visualizing that person in your life. Maybe someone is reading this and think of you too! Whatever role you are in life, people can be difficult… You might call them Toxic
Sometimes a person who isn’t toxic becomes otherwise toxic because of a situation. Remember this song by Britney spear “Toxic” ? The writer of this song had a great idea ( Which is where my title came from). Have you ever been in a situation where you felt that a person was polluting the whole room ?. It devastates you and the energy is just awful making you feel sick in your stomach. So how do you deal with these people surrounding you whether if it is work related or friends and family?
If something that someone else is doing affects you, how are you reacting? In some cases I believe that, It’s best to be direct and confront things. Let them know that their behaviors are not okie. You need to be prepared and communicate it clearly. In some other cases ,where you have deal with this time after time. You will start to know that the moment you let them in, you are letting your thoughts becoming toxic. When you start feeling this,the first thing to do is checking in with yourself and realizing that this is ticking something in you again. Don’t give that power back by keeping a distance to these people who triggers you by setting boundaries and decide to not engage in that.
Sometimes It is like taking vitamins. A proper or small amount of dose can benefit you while excessive amount it can be toxic. Lets face it that life is not all rainbows and unicorns. You should think about how toxic is it and what benefit is coming out of that toxicity. In business and relationships among us there will be toxic situations whether it’s decision making or personal believes.
If the flower can’t bloom because there’s nothing wrong with the flower but something is wrong with the environment, At some point you basically let them go. Directing your conversations away from that toxic material. Toxic people will away try to relate it back to it but it’s important that you learn to cut it off. Pull yourself back a sec and realized That they are't worth ruining you or the situation being.
"Love yourself enough to create an environment in your life that is conducive to the nourishment of your personal growth. Allow yourself to let go of the people, thoughts, and situations that poison your well-being. Cultivate a vibrant surrounding and commit yourself to making choices that will help you release the greatest expression of your unique beauty and purpose."
— Steve Maraboli
I hope You enjoy this post guys
I always deeply appreciate your comments, upvotes and share.
Much Love, Suzana
I have a toxic friend in my life that is very narcissistic. it gets really annoying sometimes. you can never tell a story without him one upping you in some way. Usually i wouldn't hang out with people like this but we had a heart to heart once and i realized that all his narcissism stems from some abandonment issues he had when he was younger. After i knew that i felt kinda bad for him. Ive got him to open up and realize that the shit he does is what puts people off of him. He's been getting better at taking responsibility for his failures but narcissictic people are so hard to change. sometimes i feel like we are making headway when its just me and him then other people walk in the room and he goes right back to his old ways. I wanna help the guy out but Narcisssistic people are so hard to change.
Narcissistic people never change. Look at Trump he's been a narcissistic asshole his whole life.
...but the phrase "Fight FIRE with FIRE" comes to mind, politicians are the worst narcissistic a$$holes ever, and all the NA's that Trump pisses off every day warms my heart :D
All the career poly-ticks are much worse than Trump, my Friend! ;)
I beg to differ my friend. I'm not a fan of any politicians left or right so i agree their all a bunch of assholes but i still think trump takes the cake. He bankrupts construction companies cuz he refuses to pay them. Refuses to pay those little girls that danced for his rally's. Insults gold star families and makes fun of disabled reporters. All the guy does is brag about how amazing he is. If we had a "don't break an arm jerking yourself off" olympics trump would be first ballot hall of fame.
...that is why he's the perfect "TOOL" to smash this totally corrupt and bankrupt political "system" we are caught up in! I think we agree more than disagree, my good man! I LONG for relief from the DC corruption cabal, I just hope it happens SOONER rather than Later! God uses the foolish things to confound the wise, and our current situation bears that out IMO...
Your comment makes me smile ;)
FOLLOW @cookiekush cuz U have a good counterpoint to my view :D
I see what u did there LOL. Ya i hope something changes but odds are really low. I just wish the people would stop fighting each other and realize that is what the people in power want. divide and conquer while they reap all the benefits. I hope crypto takes down the Fed. I feel like alot of our problems stem from the central bankers.
Take Heart, odds of Something BREAKING, and therefore Changing are getting better Every Day! There are those at work behind the sense with this as their life's work, to restore America to it's former greatness, and I don't mean MAGA!
HAHAHAHAHAAHAA dude i can't firkin stop laughing right now it hurts
Trump is a retarded piece of shit!
some people think Hillary is a narcissistic, but since I don't know either Hillary or Trump personal I can't say either way.
Well, one indicator for a narcissist is that they are lying a lot.
They won't accept to be busted even so you have proven them wrong.
If it's unavoidable they will find some excuses.
They don't generally change, nor do most personality disorders. However on the contrary, narcissism is in fact more likely to be 'cured' at some point by life experience than most of the other PD's are to be 'cured'. Thus "never" is not quite correct.
you nailed it. nothing changes people like a self-realization that they want to be different... nothing else really works.
although I agree that a person can change I have never know a narcissistic person to change. these people are parasites, they have learnt early that feeding off other peoples kindness is an easy boost for them. so they never have a motive to change.
Critical introspection is difficult for a narcissist, that is why it is rare for them to change. They actively avoid the kind of thinking that would allow them to recognize their own faults, and therefore be motivated to remove them. However 'difficult' and 'rare' are not synonyms of 'impossible' and 'never'.
Once a narcissist does recognize their problems and has a desire to change, they can find greater success in doing so than most of the other PD's.
The older they become, the worse it gets.
Narcissist have a good chance to get cured when they are getting help by psychologists. In reality most of them won't seek professional help. Instead they will suffer from becoming old.
Especially their self-esteem gets more and more damaged by not looking young and "perfect" anymore. They are lacking of efficiency as well.
When they realise that their lifetime will end without them being able to fill the emptyness inside their heart they become badly cold-hearted.
It's true, narcissists can change (though they still might be a little egotistical by nature). My ex-husband-soon-to-be-husband-again is proof of that. And yes, I think it was life experience that changed him.
Nice, hoping the best for you!
Thanks for the up-vote, @snowpea ;)
Toxic people are parasites, they live off other people's energy. As we cut them away they lose their lifeline. If they don't find another source, they might eventually learn there is a source within them and their toxicity will vanish.
they must do it themselves. they must want it deep down, so deep that nothing else matters.
i try to help these people too, but realize that i can only help if they want it... all else is vanity.
"his narcissism stems from some abandonment issues"
This explains so much the "i know it all" attitude of some narcissistic fellas i know. When in reality they don't know nothing and are just making a big scene to absorb your attention to them. They feed on your good energy and spit it in your face if they want.
Great comment. Your perspective is a very clear one, and you seemed to have much care for your friend.
Back a few years ago I learned that we see ourselves one way, we think are friends see us another way, and then there's the way we truly are. We often forget to step aside and look at ourselves. Nobody wants to do that lol.
Maybe paired him with another narcissist so he could possibly get a reflection of what he does. Best wishes :) - @splendorhub
I totally get what you are feeling. in my opinion, Most of us have those kind of people in our lives. You have a kind heart and you want to help. You do what you think you can but don't let them affect your life. when you start involving too much so to get them better, reflect back on if this is pulling you down ?. At the very least you got this person to open up ad had a heart to heart talk, that is already a starter for your friend to face his/her issue. Thank you for sharing your story with us !!!
I always try my best to stay out of dramas... But somehow, they just come to me. After many situations and experiences, I've found myself to be a peacemaker type of guy. But sometimes, these toxicity can be tiring. So I wouldn't bother.
Thanks @blocktrades & @belgarath for the upvote. :)
when you see these dramas are self-created by these people, that it is there way of being that causes it (which they are not willing to change usually...) that is how i was able to stop myself from helping them.
i still want to help, but refuse to help those that refuse to help themselves. if they are stuck in the blaming of others, then they are lost, and trust me... at some point you will find yourself in their crosshairs...
True, I agree. I've been caught in the crossfire before. And I didn't know how I got there in the first place.
eckhart tolle teaches about the pain body. angry/hatred/jealous get triggered inside us, and if we cannot remain conscious, we literally become the pain body, it acts thru us.
i totally believe people are insane when they are angry. rationality disappears, and their mind searches for 'who is to blame.'
i've watched this process unfold, so it isn't simply hypothesis for me. i do my best to stay conscious and not act when i'm angry until i've regain my conscious stillness within.
I would always take a step back, regain my rational mind then only proceed to whatever solution there is. Gotta stay calm if not like you said, insane! and it may even lead to unwanted actions which will regret later.
sometimes the more peaceful you are, the more they want to get to you. !!!
Ahhh, true true...speaking from experience? :O
toxic people have a way of draining life out of good and pleasant situations, if we can learn to cut them off at an early age it will be beneficial to us and help us grow, if you want to go far their are people who must not be part of your journey. identify them early and let them go
It is very hard to let people go in life. I had to experience that myself. I thought the older i get, the better i would be at it. It's the opposite, the older i grew i value how short life is and it's a devastating and painful decision to just kick someone out of your life. It takes time and a lot of energy draining to at the end deciding to do so. some people are stronger than others.
I never had time for such people in my life and never will, not when there are so many great people around to fill my days, my friend
You are a very lucky person !! cheers :)
That is true, we have to face situations and people that become toxic when we decide to grow and become a better version of ourselves. It is difficult but we have to learn to be radical, and "get the energy drainers out of our lives".
maybe you should not give toxic people so much of your time,
and they might just fizzle away
I do not believe that there is toxic people out there. I believe there are people out there who are desperate to be heard, seen, appreciated and valued for what they believe, know and say. I have had my own experience in being the toxic person that everyone believed me to be when I was only trying to warn people about something they did not know for themselves and would not believe me. They did not want to hear me out or give me the benefit of the doubt. It made me try so much harder to persuade them, yet nothing I did worked because the people that thought I was toxic ganged up on me. In the end, I am the one that is better of because of what I know and the benefit of the doubt I gave to other "toxic" people. I know people like to be positive, but we live in reality and life is not very positive in general. We live in a toxic world with lots of issues that needs to be solved and ignoring them to avoid negativity is just to put your head in the ground with a tornado swirling in your direction.
I wonder what is keeping people from not keeping toxic people from their lives.
Fear of the unknown and being passive aggressive.
i think awareness can change toxic people into simply people again.
i search for ways to love all beings ; )
Beautiful quote !! <3
very nice post :)
The last quote sums it up. It's like if you want to be successful positive and happy you need to surround yourself with the right environment and especially People.
hi all word
It is the drama not only for toxic people but also for those who nearby! These people need to nobility got him realize that the shit they he does is what turn away people off of him!
This post was very informative thank you for sharing
you have my upvote & resteem
Keep smiling, reading, writing and voting!!!
@mannyfig1956
Right from my childhood have I aspired to be a great writer and an activist. You really inspired me today and I learnt more.
Guys if you are impressed, could you please tap on my upvote. And others after me. winks
Sometimes tolerance won't just do it with certain relationships. You got to let go!
Thanks for sharing... It's beautiful!
every thing are toxic when excessive used.
upvoted your article @suerisue
Thank you :)
my pleasure
Life is journey. So enjoy and fun with beautiful memories.
Nice post
Most times I find myself around toxic people but I am glad for the category of friends I have, they tend to encourage me when am down so even if they are not present at that moment I can stay strong.
Nice
Where there is love there is life.
- Mahatma Gandhi
very nice post! And written quite well.
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STOPNice post!
Life is too short to spend it with toxic people. Relatable post :)
you have been followed
you have been followed
You’ve been followed too 😊
Wow...thanks for sharing
Toxic people are unavoidable, we meet them everyday of our life. The most dangerous toxic people is your toxic best friend. They look like a sheep in a wolf skin. You may not notice how dangerous they are because they alway pretend to be your friend but at back of their heart they are TOXIC FRIENDS. Just be vigilant.Fair is foul and foul is fair.
Well said. Yes we cant avoid them. For some, we see and interact with them everyday without even knowing it. !!
Nice Article, it helps me in both phases :-)
This may help... It's a quote by either Dr. Robert Anthony,or Dr. Wayne Dyer.
"If you change the way you look at things,the things you look at will change"
I agree. I always believe that at the end of the day, it all depends on how one perceives things/circumstances. Cheers!
This is a beautiful quote. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is so true and very up-lifting !!
a great example of the massive increase in toxicity is the reduction of employees at work. In this situation, many people have switched to "wolf-mode" (every man for himself). And unfortunately, most people in this situation become very toxic towards all the rest.
Great post, i follow you now :)
in my opinion is always worth it to do whatever is in your power to get away from toxin people, no matter what you have to do, at the end it will be worth it.
very nice
I think that toxicity is relative, sometimes we are inadvertently toxic to some people because we want to please others
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you just copy and pasted the top comment....
You Should Wear A Warning ⚠️ !!! It's dangerous I'm falling 😱 - TOXIC PEOPLE ☠️
valla bizde de öyle derler
Wow that's a fantastic article. The truth of the matter is, your environment will either increase you or decrease you. Your environment will either improve you or worsen or destroy you. Thank you for the enlightment
nice post followed you
this post is so amazing, I'm so inspired to keep working hard on steem.
nice article..love to see that
This is an awesome read. Hope we can follow each other back ☺️😊
Great post. :) Best wishes to you always. - @splendorhub
I think toxicity is a subtle thief.
Too often we make excuses for our friends, saying things like, "Oh he/she is just like that. I guess we just have to accept it."
In the end, we get manipulated.
To put an end to toxicity in your life, be firm and simply walk away.
I do have a toxic friend, well... dunno if we are still friends, but I was always there for her and after years not seeing each other because of distance, she traveled to my now country to visit me and it was sooo distructive, I was constantly thinking how many situations were happening, because we were supposed to haven fun, well... I decided that better than a friend, is my peace of mind and we barely talk nowadays and it feels just fine to me.
Great post, it makes me see that I did the right thing!
The negativity is contagious just like the positivity, or maybe more.
This is mean you must have the courage to face your negative entourage and to have the boldness to say to them 'get the f**k out from my life'.
As a result you will no longer be loved by everyone, a lot of them will talk badly about you and they will say awful things to you or maybe try to hurt you
But the direct result will be '' having just positive in your life, people you count for them" ( for me is more than enough )
''TO BE A SOLITARY LION, IS BETTER THAN BEEN A POPULAR SHEEP"
I used to work for a solar company back in the day selling solar lanterns. The company was good but I had toxic friends who always kept saying how hard it was to sell solar lanterns in this age of electricity. So we'd always while our time during the day and report back zero figures to our manager everyday. We didn't make any commissions for 3 months yet there were certain folks who seemed to sell everyday.
So one day I made a decision to ask one of the top sellers if I could accompany him on that day as he went to sell. He agreed and we ventured out to sale. I observed that the guy would target the low income areas that were far from town and had electrification problems. He was also persistent in his sales and he never seemed to give up. He'd also sell the benefits like low-cost and clean energy. I was thrilled at how tactful he was in his sales. And he also seemed to live a good life from the commissions he got.
At the end of that day I made a conscious decision to cut ties with my toxic friends and look for better friends.
And I did do that. It helped me a lot in that job. I started enjoying my work and earned more. Most of all the sales skills I acquired helped me get another job months later.
Our view of something may not be what it really is :)
We call those people sociopaths. You may not even realize who they are because if they are really good at it you'll think any problem in your relationship is your fault.
About one in 25 Americans are sociopaths and being able to manipulate people for their own good is a common trait. So hardly sportingly the higher up the management chain you go the more likely you are to find one.
Here's a handy guide on how to figure out if you're dating one...
http://www.huffpost.com/us/entry/3780417