As soon as you stop treating sex as that special dirty thing you save for that one chosen person, it turns into something else. Often, a path of self-exploration.
I strongly recommend the book "Mating in Captivity" by Esther Pearl. It talks about the place eroticism lacks in married life.
Also, self-help is wonderful. My back massager moonlights as a quick pain relief device as orgasms help reduce pain levels. And I can't ALWAYS bother my SOs demanding pain-killing orgasms. :)
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I haven't said it in a long time but I love you. :D
<3 <3 <3