do read the theory of transactional analysis (TA), you will get a lot of answers to your queries and will feel much rejuvenated. also i have an incident to share.
i remember during an office party last year our team started discussing about emotions after getting drunk and the senior manager who earlier was a Navy Officer, gave a piece of advice to everyone to be open and confident about the way they feel. He told openly that there are times he cries when he is alone at home and he misses his family, but it is important he considers this healthy.
I agree with the senior manager! :) Oh, and thanks for advice, but I've already digested TA :)