I had to see your look of desperation, sadness, longing and despair as soon as I woke up in the morning and realized I had chosen my path Those soulful eyes and your pretty lips near frozen in a close-to-crying state. All I could feel is sadness, for me and for you. You could never know how badly I wanted to ravage your body the morning I left, but it wasn't in the cards and was such a pivotal point of me leaving in the first place.
I finally got to see you expressions in the flesh, I got to smell you, kiss you, I felt all of the relief of a savior from my darkest times, the cheekbones that could scratch glass, and the mutual excitement we had to meet one another and start our future together. The culmination of five plus hour long calls every day for the past near month, of so much planning, so much emotion and pleasure, and so much passion for one another.
We had our last meal together, we got our favorite little Starbucks snacks and drinks and sat on the outside patio reminiscing over the past four years together, what went wrong and why I needed to keep packing that morning and say goodbye. I'd be saying goodbye to you and all you've done for me and to me, for better or for worse. Goodbye to our pending marriage and family together. To the city I fell in love with and had to depart from so soon. This wasn't what we had in mind on the telephone when we first spoke nearly five years ago.
We had our first meal together that day after hours of loading my possessions into your truck and stopping for frequent hugs and kisses to each other, was the perfect hello. It was a Little Caesars cheese pizza and a two liter bottle of Sunkist, because of your caffeine allergy, after we had pulled into our crappy motel for the night. One of the trashiest and most endearing first dates I'll ever have. Cheap edible pizza, body rotting orange drink, a crappy hotel room and someone I want to spend the rest of my days with for the foreseeable future and want to raise a child with. I got to confirm that all or well, most of these things could be seen as truths. I learned how to gain hope again.
I hope I see you again this August, the beauty of polyamory is that I can rekindle a lost flame if I feel it's ready for it to burn again. I've thought of your body and the way you smelled the first day we met one another, and I put a ring on your finger for a reason, because I care very deeply for you and want you in my life for a long time. I feel I still have more to learn from you
You, I fucking love you. I can't wait to celebrate one year together, today, by duplicating our first meal and being lazy sluts together. We've had enough trials and multiple points of contention since my arrival, but I feel we're stronger than could be and are only getting better. You mean the world to me, you're someone I learn from every day, lust after constantly and someone I put up with once in a while because we're only human and I'm a dingbat sometimes. We're making a lot of great progress together the past few months, and I know we can keep it up <3
I bond very quickly and therefore move in relationships quickly as well, this isn't a fault I don't feel, but rather just a trait that requires being able to have astounding deductive reasoning and ability to read people. It's not my fault I love so hard, is it? I don't think so, I might only be 24 years old, but I've lived the life of multiple of my generation. I can only get wiser and love stronger I feel, so I'll continue doing what feels good, and enjoy my hard work and dedication to my multiple relationships, they fulfill me, drive me, spoil me. Here's to the future, babycakes, Happy Anniversary <3
Your local crypto slut - <3
np Love Hurts
It hurts a lot sometimes but often it's just what we need ^_^
That was powerful. I was riveted ... thank you.
Pretty heavy words for me but thanks for sharing
You're welcome :)
Congratulations for the anniversary