I've been thinking about writing a post like this for a couple weeks now, and after this post by @kaylinart, I feel it's time. I want to say that this post is in no way talking bad about kaylinart or anyone else who holds such an opinion, but I've heard this sort of ignorance all my life.
I mean that word in the nicest way possible, but phrases like "People don't seem to like to take responsibility for their happiness." & "Dealing with stress the correct way is important. Learn how to make yourself feel better and calmer. Without letting stress damage your happiness level in the long term.", are completely short sighted and don't take into account people who have legitimate issues which prevent them from attaining even small amounts of happiness.
Case in point: Myself. I have had ADHD my entire life. At 30 years old, I still struggle daily with an inability to do things most people take for granted . If you don't know much about how ADHD works, my brain literally doesn't take in the right amount of dopamine, a neurochemical that helps us get that "happy feeling".
Check out this Big Think video that explains it a bit better than I can.
In conjunction with ADHD, I have depression. Now, depression is a word that's used in many ways, but in this case, I'm talking about the sort of depression that isn't cause by outside forces. It's not grief, it's not because something happened, and something happening typically doesn't make it better.
It's not the sort of unhappiness that one can just shrug off. It's a deep, penetrating flow of negative emotions that gets in the way of work, family, hygiene, diet... the list goes on and on.
It's not something I can just "talk to someone about", and it's not something a medication or medical procedure can cure.
Medications treat symptoms, they don't fix what's wrong. What's wrong is something I will battle with the rest of my life, until one day, the sweet embrace of death will be upon me, at which point none of this will matter.
There are INDEED people out there who can't just take a "it's your fault", and be okay.I want to say thank you to @betelzeus for being the first person to bring up the fact that this may have been in bad taste.
And I realize the original post was probably not written with everyone in mind, but I still felt like it failed to address that sometimes, people are legitimately unhappy, and they can do nothing about it...
Follow me @thatsweeneyguy
UO 8,I like how you put full effort in this ,really great. 🙂🙂
Thank you. Just had to get it off my chest.
Very interesting.
I read that post as well but decided against commenting because I felt like the author meant well, and that there are probably a lot of people whose attitude is a huge road block to happiness/success/healthy relationships/yadda yadda yadda.
I've had ADHD my whole life, and it's a struggle. It's also a struggle for my daughter and cousins, who also have it. It's a legitimate neurochemical deficiency, not a choice. So is depression. Suggesting otherwise just adds to the stigma that harms so many people who need help but are ashamed to get it.
Thanks for posting a counterpoint.
It's just kinda been hanging in the back of my mind all day.
This is what steemit is all about. Your voice has value and it's great you felt comfortable enough to share your perspective with the community.
"Steem is beautiful" Stop by and take a look and tell us what you think.
I am following, upvoting and featuring you.
Stay Original >Stay Creative > SteemOn Daily https://steemit.com/minnowsunite/@steemisbeautiful/what-makes-steem-beautiful-015
Thanks SO much! It really means a lot!
btw... my first son's name is Carlin. You may be able to guess why :D
I loathe vapid self-help articles....
But some people call me a guru, which I am not...
Hey @thatsweeneyguy , sorry I didn't see this post earlier. And thanks for the mention ... and for the thank you :) ....
I honestly wasn't really sure how to respond to kaylinart's original post at first (I was trying to post a diplomatic response in a sea of people totally agreeing with what she was saying) ... and in saying that I do agree with @mtgmisfit 's comment :
in that I think kaylinart meant well in her post (I'm not defending / justifying her post) , however I think the title of her post was rude / offensive at best , and I think it would be safe to say that she has never experienced depression herself (otherwise why would you post such a thing)
And honestly in the end , I took the overall message from that post to be not to get stuck (which is very easy when you are in the darkness , I know I have been there and stuck previously) . I do think she maybe could have found a better way to say what she was trying to say.
Also , previously when I was still in the darkness (suffering from depression) , I would come across people with this same reaction all the time. I think it's because 1. they can't understand what's it's like and 2. they don't have the energy to be able to help / deal with someone who is in the darkness / stuck / depressed.
Anyway , hopefully all of that came out right ... and I wish you well on your journey :)
Thanks for coming around, and thanks for your words.
I'm not usually one to "get triggered" (as the kids say) and go post a rant about how I'm sad. It's just a very real struggle sometimes, as you well know.
my tip: it's amazing what a thorough detox and switch to an organic raw vegan diet can do for wellbeing.
I'm pretty sure those things don't cure ADHD and depression. I've never tried though, mostly because I love the slaughter of innocent animals as a means of sustenance. Sorry if this comes off as rude, but tips aren't what I need. Not that I really NEED anything. I still have good days, I just took the opportunity to address something I've heard over and over.
Thank you so much for your kind words.
I am unfortunately on my way to the day job.... but will respond to this properly when I get time.
In the meantime, I'm following you on your travels ;D
I am feeling better. Today.
It's kinda like a dark storm cloud that's always hanging above. Some days, I've got my umbrella, and I can weather any storm. Other days, I can't find it anywhere, and the cloud gets darker and darker.
Great article, btw.
@cryptomomma and I are definitely jealous :D