Dear @maninayton, Many thanks for your kind words of support and encouragement and thank you for the follow and upvote.
I am very happy to discuss this topic with you as well. It only make me grow more by having different perspectives and understanding, so please don't feel any hesitation to ask anything in your mind. I will answer you to the best of my ability. However, I would like to say that some answers will become clearer as I write my personal story and how I reached where I am now and why.
As for your questions:
Do you not feel that you are being watched and judged all the time by this god? Isn't your god still ruling your life to some extent? Are you really 'free'?
The answer is, I used to feel that way but not any more now. My God is not ruling my life anymore but is guiding me when I ask for his guidance. I may not be completely free from all the old BS I was taught for a long time (the fears, the anxiety and the lack of trust comes back from time to time) but I am getting better to deal with them and neutralize my negative feelings, as long as I am feeling the love and support of my "God"
It is hard to explain it in words I guess. But I hope as you get to know my story, it may give you an insight of what I think or feel now. Actually, that was the number 1 reason I decided to write my personal story. To convey a message about my "God" that I can't convey otherwise.
Thanks again for engaging me in the discussion and for your support :)