Your posts made me sentimental. My 86 y/o Grandmother lives also in a nursing home. She also has dementia. Whenever I see her, my heart starts to feel unbelievable pain. She started to have dementia about 5 to 6 years ago - after an operation with general anaesthetics. Since we are a poor family we didn't have much choice, so she went into the local nursing home and since she had dementia she staid in a special section. The first day she went in, she didn't unpack her backs and simply asked every few minutes "When do I go home?". This (!) broke my heart. Over the years I went through a lot of personal changes. Something I would call "Growing up - leaving the old shell behind". I still visited her but after the more time went on the more she forgot who I was. Thought she still felt that I was special to her.
This year - I met my special other - a beautiful woman. And my grandmother always told me something along the lines of "Be careful about which woman you choose - choose a good one". And she is a good one - a really good one.
So - one of the most important things for me was to introduce them both.
And when the day arrived, her dementia was so strong that she wasn't really aware of the situation. She was happy. But I couldn't tell here "Here, I chose a good woman". I tried to smile and act as if everything was good - but I felt as if I lost the chance of showing my grandmother (who also raised me up) the most important woman in my life while also not being able to show her what kind of man I've become.
I tried to believe that her soul or her spiritual side was aware of the situation..
So for me - losing, what makes me .. me and you .. you .. , is nearly as terrible for me as death. Death is still the ultimate tragedy, but it is part of life. Life and Death - two sides of the same coin.
It is very difficult to see loved ones in that situation.
yes :/
Your story is very touching.
And yes, there are some (or even many) things worse than death!
Thank you onceuponatime - talking (and writing) is important for finding peace and letting go!
For us, probably, yes. And to see them so very regrettable. But they live, or rather exist in their little world and are happy in their own way. After all, how calm the grass grows and does not even think about anything else ...