All photos are @originalworks and were taken by myself.
Not all things in life come with warning labels. So here are a few signs to watch out for:
- Extremely defensive
At even the slightest question or pointed finger toxic people become very aggressive and adamant in defending themselves. They feel very easily threatened, and often times deep down know they are guilty. It causes them to behave irrationally and say anything to win an argument and ‘prove’ themselves innocent.
They never put their defence down or stop throwing the punches back at you. Whole arguments can break out over any one little thing they consider a personal attack. However, in the mind of a disturbed person almost anything can be perceived as an attack on their ego.
- Mirror effect when confronted about wrongdoings
If the spotlight is on them for anything other than pure admiration, it is very easy for a toxic person to mirror it back to you. For example; you have suspicion/evidence your partner is cheating. So you confront them about it and all of a sudden they are accusing you of being the one that is actually cheating, and not them.
Another scenario would be if you asked your partner to listen to you more often and pay more attention. A toxic person would respond with; “Well maybe if you didn’t have so many problems I wouldn’t have to.”
- Hate asking for help or admitting they are wrong
A toxic person hates admitting in any way that they are vulnerable and rely on other people. They always want to feel as if they are in full control of everything and everyone around them. That they are somewhat invincible or untouchable, and can never be wrong about something.
The biggest reason toxic people are like this is because in their mind, vulnerability or making a mistake is a sign of weakness. It takes vulnerability to trust, love, and to learn in life. Without it you are just a person that never puts their guard down. To be capable of asking for help, or admitting that you are wrong equates the the exact opposite - being strong.
- Don't take responsibility for own actions
Blaming or holding a toxic person accountable for their actions is nearly impossible. Simply because they refuse to accept the consequences of their behavior, words, and manipulation. By not accepting the consequences, they are effectively allowing themselves to do whatever they want, when they want. People who live this way never learn any lessons, never feel guilt, and certainly never grow as a person.
- Don’t respect others boundaries
Your ‘no’ is their ‘yes’. In the way they see the world, personal boundaries and morals of other people have no relevance to them. They are free to cross whatever lines they please to suit themselves and what they need. The motive behind this behavior is to gain a sense of power. When people allow a toxic person to push their buttons and cross boundaries, it makes them feel in control over not just other people, but themselves.
For example; your toxic partner has had body issues thought their whole life. The issues they have about their body are the main source of all insecurity in their life. In response to these inner problems you will find your partner putting you down with words like ‘fat’, ‘need to lose weight’, and ‘should you really be eating that?’.
Toxic people often have a lack of control (particularly impulse), power, and sense of worth in their own lives. And so destroying it for other people makes them feel as if those things that are missing int heir life have been temporarily resolved. In other words, they are literally sucking the life force out of you.
If anyone in your life displays any or all of these qualities its safe to say you’d definitely be better off without them. I challenge anyone who was reminded of a certain person when reading this post to cut them out of your life TODAY.
Good advice. I have had to cut myself off from a number of members of my own family for just these reasons. That is very hard to do, but it had to be done. Siblings of mine who continued to allow these same people to influence them paid a high price over the years in terms of the effects on their psyche.
There is little social support for those who take such actions, especially involving family members. We are all told that we "must" try to work things out. Certainly, one should at least try to do so. But if this is not possible, one must be willing to break from that which is poison.
Thanks for supporting those who take this difficult step.
This is really hard to do, but you did the right thing. Tomas
Sneaky Ninja Attack! You have just been defended with a 1.95% upvote!
I was summoned by thuylannguyen. I have done their bidding and now I will vanish…
woosh
P.S. If you or anyone you know has been a victim of @grumpycat please know that he has been harming people throughout Sōsharumedia (ソーシャルメディア). Stealing the service that I (and other bots) have provided them and hiding behind a facade of stopping bid bot abuse which he clearly has no interest in.
Sneaky Ninja is a very responsible bot, working directly with steemcleaners, actively pursuing spam and abuse on our platform. If you would like to see what steps Sneaky Ninja has taken to fight bid bot abuse see this post and this post. Also know that I am working daily on other solutions.
If you would like to know my personal take on bid bot abuse and why I do not agree with the 3.5 day rule, see this post
Grumpycat is a villain that must be stopped to protect our freedoms here on steemit!
There is a resistance that has formed to counter his tyranny.
If you would like to take an active role in stopping this menace and helping other victims like yourself...
Learn More Here
I have also summoned my love, Kusari to offer some limited help to victims like you.
See Here
I want to add this video by Will Smith who has it right....
This is regarding relationships and marriages. I certainly do get what he is saying. I would like to add that having to bend over backwards to try to make someone else happy is toxic and draining.