Welp, it’s unanimous.
None of us wants to have the sex talk with our kids. As parents, we all know we should. But seriously (and I’m just being transparent here) when that horrible, cringy moment came, the only thing I wanted in life was to pull an escape lever and disappear through a Houdini-like hatch in the floor.
But, do you know what I think? I think the reason we want to avoid The BIG Talk really stems from an admirable motive.
We just want to protect our kids.
Most parents do. We figure that if we postpone any discussion about sex, we will build a wall of protection against a sex-crazed culture and protect their innocence just a teensy bit longer. And you know what? If we lived in a world that shared those values we’d be home free. Heck! We could postpone the sex talk until they are 22 if we wanted!
Unfortunately, we don’t live in a culture that values sexual integrity.
But have you ever thought about it like this?
If we don’t talk to our eight-year-olds about sex, maybe we aren’t protecting them at all. In fact, maybe we are actually leaving them exposed and vulnerable. Because in the sex-saturated world in which we live,
if we aren't talking to our kids about sex, someone else is.
When you discuss sex at an early age, YOU are the first one they hear it from. THIS IS A REALLY GOOD THING. You know why? Because then you get the chance to wrap everything that you teach up in your values.
Begin having age-appropriate discussions when your child is in preschool and continue the conversations into the teen years and beyond.
Gave you an upvoted and i cant agree more. I have a son of 5 and he is already very curious around these topics. In my age,our parent will discourage of engaging with such talk and nowaday sex education becomes a very big topic. Way to go bro.
Yes, these questions and discussions can take us by surprise. My advice? Be prepared! Thanks for your input @wilkinshui!
Great advice, very well presented. Thank you!
😄😇😄
Thank YOU @creatr. :)
it is important thing. thank you. I follwed you, please follow me :)
I never had "the talk" and was educated by the Internet about that subject, like most things.
I'd agree it's important, and it helps protect them, but it can also hurt them if you lie to them about it. I find it best to simply tell the child honestly what sex is and why people do it, and to clarify with them why they probably shouldn't have it, being that being a child if they had sex the other person could go to jail for YEARS because it's illegal because they want to make sure kids aren't hurt (ha as if that's why!), and that it can be dangerous if it's not done correctly and with someone who loves you and you love them in a dating type of way.
Sounds odd, but I believe in treating kids as equals, and that's the facts. If they want to have sex with their hand (masturbate) every night, even relatively inappropriately in the same bed as me, that's fine, well, maybe not the latter.
It feels good to them and it's not harming anybody or traumatizing them.
But if they want to have sex with somebody else, which oddly enough does happen especially with the lower starting of puberty and more knowledge available to them as true pre-pubescences, they should know the actual risks, not the fear-mongering lies and fear-mongering, but the genuine real deal.
Don't talk down to them, simply explain to them how it is and advise them not to engage in it for rational reasons and they'll listen if they have any faith in you as a parent.
If a kid does happen to want to try that with someone they won't want to put them in Jail, and if they don't want to try it and sometimes forces them to, they will know their options on how to get rid of the person as well as likely to prevent the situation entirely.
But again it's all built on trust, between you and your baby. If they don't trust what you say and genuinely care about how you feel anything you say is meaningless.
If you lie to them about sex, even a little, when someone tells them otherwise who they may trust more, they'll defy your wishes and do what pleases them,for example if you said "it's only for adults" they may hear otherwise from other kids, then when an adult attempts something with them they had no reason to decline as they do not understand the implications or potential results of the act.
A child's innocence is not their lack of ignorance, it's the lack of disgusting depravity the've dealt with. They can know all about sex but that won't take their true innocence and carefree behavior away.
What steals that is not education but destructive behavior, be it by them or by another, be it regular violence, emotional abuse, or something forcibly raping them. That's what destroys innocence; it's the thing that you lose when you lose faith in others and begin to feel alone.
EDIT: Oh god I Story'd your story I did it again, I really should try to make these posts more subtle and simply make my own post for when I let my hands go'a'typin'
Wow! If there was an award for the most thought out reply, you win! I do believe in being honest and real with them, BUT I also want to discuss the emotional and spiritual side of sex. It isnt just physical and it carries potential consequences in all forms. Thanks for commenting @thatadvocate!
Well yeah, definitely you should tell them who most people do it with (or should) and why.
Only issue with going that deep is, well, it kind of has to come out or they'll imply it that sex feels good, and that would be something that would encourage them to engage in it or want to try it, which I doubt would be and issue with the other things they would now know, but hey, it's still there.
No matter what I'd say it definitely still protects them more, including that too, as it makes them informed, and if they did decide to ask someone (unlikely) and that person accepted (unlikely) they'd still be able to handle their self in the situation and likely not become a mess from it.
Ideal, maybe not, but far better than if they knew nothing and were taken advantage of and truly abused as a result.
I remember I never got "the talk". I remember a time or two my dad briefly talked of masterbation and sex, but he arrived pretty late.
Awww man, now you went and put the "M" word on my wall and everything.
Just kidding. Thanks for commenting @princeofcats.
Haha... strange to add it to the "sex talk", but for some reason in my child religious culture, it made sense.
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