Life as I stand up

in #life7 years ago

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Good title right? Well I’m not sure what you are expecting to find in this article, it’s all about pretty much anything that pops into my head and Oh my god am, i ready to be a father? This is the type of reading you do with a hot cup of chocolate while being covered by a warm blanket on a snowy December 28...ish in a wooden log cabin up high on Mount….Fatherhood...right?

That’s a big step in life and I’m only 29 years old and happily married to the most amazing person to walk the face of the planet and as i typed this her skype id popped up to say she is online. See thing like that happens to us all the time, i call her while she is typing in my number on an old telephone you know the ones with the spinning thing for each number, anyway i’m getting off topic here.

Bottom Line is we became pregnant and the day we found out was one of the happiest moments shared with her since our wedding day and a bunch of other ones but for the sake of not making a list just believe me there are a lot and to answer your other question no i didn’t get pregnant too don’t be silly that not medically possible..yet.

She was 6 weeks when we first went to the doctor to finally have pregnancy tests validated as truly being positive. Wait i lied the happiest moment was now, she called me into the doctor’s office and proceeded to show me a 3D scan the the baby's heartbeat with sound, i nearly burst into tears from the emotions i was going through. Baby is due in December which is also my birth month so he/she is going to be the same star sign as me, i mean how lucky can you get as a dad.

Doctor gave her some vitamins and a list of other tests needed and scheduled a check up in about 2 weeks once all the blood test come back...oh and it was Easter weekend and blood tests had to be done during whatever days because the labs don’t work on those days. Fast forward 2 weeks later and all the blood tests came out we checked them together and they were all OK and within normal parameters. In case your worst at math than i am that puts her at 8 weeks, i know this because i have that pregnancy app on my phone and i keep checking it daily and reminding her everyday how pregnant she is and how much i love her.

Phone rings…..im at work because we decided everything is ok so there is no need for me to come. I answer and there is a silence that is not too long or just too short but the perfect length of time to know that the next thing you hear will crush your soul. A soft trebling voice whispers….the babies…. evolution…. has stopped, there are no signs of cardiac basically a heart beat was missing and the embryonic sac no longer had liquid in it.

Fucked up. The scan report said that evolution stopped at 6 weeks and 2 days, 2 days after we watched its tiny little heartbeat sound waves on a screen. Funny i remember thinking well if the evolution stopped can’t we some how restart it? I have a talent of saying inappropriate shit at bad times but this time i held back, i knew this was the time for me to be a grown up and not time for jokes, the person on the other side needed me.
So after all that being said and done...Am i ready to be a father? He asks himself in case the reader forgot what this whole thing is about. You made it this far and i think we both know the answer to that question. Why the hell are they making another Matrix movie? Really guys you couldn’t leave that one alone!