This is a really sad post :( the loneliness just oozes out of it :( I have been where you have been when i lost my larger rescue. Everyone i ever helped save 2 people let me rot my family was less that supportive while I faced the horrifically scary first phase of my medical condition. I was a handful of strangers who saves my hide and lie with you they re not "here" but strewn over the four corners of the earth . I would like to say that tings are better now ...they are in part ...but i have become a hermit ...I just don't trust people anymore ...no matter how hard i don't wan't to be that kind of person.
As for love- life taught me this don't waist your time on someone who does not love you back. it is a futile pursuit and if you settle for the few stale crumbs they give you your life becomes this stale thing . I for my part decided to just chuck the whole love shmove deal it has always been a very unpleasant experience for me and my life is just so much better without that crap ... i am aware some people cannot live without so if becoming a solitary unit by choice is not for you at least net time make a clear list of your essential wants and needs and if it is not being fulfilled screw it do not engage .
Smoking- you need to stop! choking t death is not a good death ! i smoked from the age of 12 until my 40th birthday . That was 10 years ago . i never thought i would stop , i tried a few times , held out during pregnancy , but was back at it short after. What helped me was vaping I wasn't even looking to stop at the time i just wanted a healthier alternative as my lunges were having issues. I vaped for about a year and a half and it tapered off by itself . Start vaping even if you don't stop your emphysema drowning lungs will thank you ....
60 discord groops - Lad are you daft ? I have like 15 and they drive me nuts no wonder you were killing yourself ... glad you reduced .
Betrayal- 99.9 of humanity sux and will betray you, some out of malicious intent , but most not they are jut weak. Don't get me wrong it still hurts to be on the receiving end but knowing the for what they are makes it easier to deal with you just learn never to rely on them ...
17 hectares lost- this has to hurt losing you home like that :( I am so sorry :(
better diet - can I recommend a plant based diet ? Not only will you be saving thousands of animal , but you will be combating world hunger, the deforestation of our rainforests , the pollution and destruction of out ocean , the pollution of our water and soil and climate change in one fell swoop with simple food choices now how does that sound for heroism ;)
As is i hope all turns out better soon
*waves and runs into the wood *
Yeah, seems to be the stranger angels with me too, more often than not. Thank god for them.
I'm with you on most of this, but im a meatasaurous and I doubt that will ever change :D
yeah without them i would be homeless and my sanctuary kids dead
without them, I'D be dead. Not an exaggeration.
nods