Forgiveness. Letting go of resentment. Reconciliation. Leaving the past in the past. Love lets bygones be bygones and. Love forgives and forgets.
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From Oxford Dictionaries:
Forgive:
- stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake: "I don't think I'll ever forgive David for the way he treated her"synonyms: pardon · excuse · exonerate · absolve · make allowances for · feel no resentment toward · feel no malice toward · harbor no grudge against · bury the hatchet with · [more]
- (be forgiven) stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for (an offense, flaw, or mistake): "they are not going to pat my head and say all is forgiven" · [more]
- cancel (a debt): "he proposed that their debts should be forgiven"
- used in polite expressions as a request to excuse or regard indulgently one's foibles, ignorance, or impoliteness: "you will have to forgive my suspicious mind"synonyms: excuse · overlook · disregard · ignore · pass over · make allowances for · allow · turn a blind eye to · turn a deaf ear to · wink at · indulge · tolerate
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I don't think love allows abuse to continue again and again, but it does offer second chances. It turns the other cheek. It gives the benefit of the doubt. It forgives. It forgets. Love doesn't keep a resentment list of past grievances, to bring up in the heat of the moment. It doesn't hold grudges. Love looks forward. Love is now.
Because love keeps no record of wrongs.
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From Oxford Dictionaries:
Grudge:
- a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury: "she held a grudge against her former boss"synonyms: grivence · resentment · bitterness · rancor · pique · umbrage
- be resentfully unwilling to give, grant, or allow (something): "he grudged the work and time that the meeting involved"synonyms: begrudge · resent · feel aggrieved about · be resentful of · mind
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Love is cautious. Although it forgives, it doesn't allow continuous harm. For example, if someone harms your child, you can find it within yourself to forgive them and forget, but not to the point of letting your guard down for it to happen again. Love believes in the goodness of people, but love also protects and is just. Love doesn't harbor resentment for years and years. Love allows forgiveness. Not only towards others, but towards ourselves. Sometimes it's difficult to forgive yourself when you know your own past. But love forgives, allowing you to focus on the good, learn from the bad, and move on with your life.
I want to love, keeping no record of wrongs!
Always forgive but never forget :)
Use discretion when 'not forgetting' though, yes it may be wise, but also not, depending on the situation.
The idea is by not forgetting, we are continuously living in the past, which doesn't matter. The Now is the only true reality. Most people identify with their past or future in regards to whom they are, and carry that baggage around, destroying them slowly, they are not that. We should be independent of the Good or Bad opinion of others. You are who you are NOW.
With that, understanding time is an illusion helps break that 3d thinking. The Now is again, the only reality that matters. There's clock time and psychological time, one is useful, one is not. :) So in my humble conclusion: SOMETIMES FORGET.
Very well said, @jpclark819!
Thank you :)
@lifewithdanny, I agree with always forgiving, 100%! But sometimes I think that you should try to forget, especially with the people we love. It's because of our love for them that we can banish something from our minds and focus on who they are in the moment, right now!
Sometimes it takes me time to really forgive someone. I'm quick to say it but it takes mind and emotion control to let love be the center of it all. Which it is. Great post. Joy
Thank you, @sweetjoy! It can definitely be hard to forgive. Sometimes we need a little time to truly forgive and let go. :)
Ugh! I struggle with this one!! Growing up in a Portuguese Catholic home, the guilt and shame were thick! Don't get me wrong, my parents were very loving, but it's just part of the culture and well, the whole keeping a record of wrongs is just so ingrained that it's hard to break out of. That being said, I am trying! I am trying to rewire my brain to process things differently. I'm trying to remember to take a breath and respond rather than react. Thanks for the reminder. ❤
It is a struggle, @crowbarmama! Breaking free of old mindsets is very difficult, for sure. I totally get it! You're doing a great job! <3