Dear readers,
I can imagine you wonder how it goes (getting intimate with a friend)? As always, there will be 2 perspectives. I guess, for a guy, the girl answering "Yes!" to him asking "Are you sure you wanna do this?" is all the green light that he needs. But for a girl it's more complicated. I will try to provide some insight in what goes on in a woman's mind, through my own experience.
So... how did I end up in my friend's bed? The signs were there and the fact that I ignored them show that I wanted it. Well, that's how I see it.
The first 2 signs were "when" and "where" we met up: on a weekday evening at his place. That's odd, in the sense that we usually meet out on Friday evenings and in the weekend. I don't know how he felt about that, but it made me feel nervous... insecure. But also (though subconsciously) excited. This is hard to explain (ladies, I'm sure you will understand what I mean): as a woman, there are those moments when your body "prepares itself" in anticipation of... without you consciously thinking of it or being aroused. Now, this is a very subtle something, that often goes unnoticed (not like a male getting an erection). So... as in a breeze, I occasionally felt this sensation, but, at the time, to me, it was just an airy feeling. I didn't recognize it, nor gave thought to it. This is how I felt, during the day and on my way to his place...
The third sign must have been his appearance. The way he looked, how he smelled... Handsome. Sweet. Maybe it was my eyes deceiving me, or my thinking was clouded by my subconscious (desire), but he looked different than when usually at the bar. That was the first moment I realised I longed for him. (To his defense, I don't know if he really did some extra effort to gear up his looks. It may all have been just my imagination. I want to ask him that.) But, so, the moment I walk through his front door, desire and longing were no longer subconscious feelings. I entered his place, aware of my arousal.
The fourth sign was the unusual awkwardness between us. We'd been friends for so long. We'd gone through a lot together and completely trusted each other. Why this sudden tension? I sensed it right away and got on defensive mode. It is important for you to realise that I did not go there with any sexual intentions, at least not consciously. I guess, at that moment, both our minds were trying to figure out "how to proceed". And, clearly, part of my brain felt it wise to "back out of there".
Now, how does one break the ice, in a tense one-on-one encounter? Yes... with some alcohol. And there's the fifth sign: I only very rarely drink alcohol. I'm one of those boring girls that stick to tea and juice. But when he pulled out a bottle of white wine, I joined in, without thinking. And as I'm not used to drinking, I got tipsy quite quickly. (To his defense: I don't suspect him of getting me drunk, with the intention of ...) Mind you, I was tipsy, not drunk. My mind could still function. But, clearly, its defenses were lowered.
This is where, for the first time, I wanted to feel him. Touch him, in a "non-friend like way". And, strange as that may sound, this somehow sobered me up. I guess it's a ladies' thing: never initiate. Although, at the moment, I was sufficiently turned on to say "yes", being a woman, I did not (and would never) take the first move. But in my mind, I had decided I wanted it. So now the game of subtlety could begin. (Guys, yes, women often play hard to get, but that's not to annoy you. It's because we have to be able to live with our decision and with other's comments, the morning after.)
I will not go into detail about the seductive teasing. One thing I want to share, though, is that it took a while. He was quick at "accidentely" touching my boob, but it took half an hour or so for him to slip his hand down my pants (which wasn't an accident, of course :) ). well, I didn't mind (neither the half an hour, nor the hand slipping down). I like the gentle and swift touches during the exploration game. In fact, I prefer foreplay over sex. And I got plenty of it (foreplay I mean).
Have a great day!
Love,
L.
From my point of view it's difficult to understand why you would go there. My point of view.. not saying it's right. I can see it becoming a problem later down the track when you meet the guy you want to marry. You'll be introducing him to your best friends who you've slept with, and you can't fall back on the "we're just friends". I've always been skeptical of the "just friends" line, because it so often fails. I also find it interesting that the men were also willing to sleep with you. This validates my view that for the most part, males that keep female "friends" around I would say more often than not plan to sleep with them. They're the White Knights that wait for the opportune moment, whether it be a breakup or a drunken weekend, they're there as a shoulder to lean on more-so as an investment into future sexual encounters. They're the stubborn one's that hold on regardless of the "friend-zone". If it were me and I truly valued the friendship above sexual gratification, I'd politely refuse.
It just seems odd to me that their motives would be anything other, given their willingness to go there. They were waiting. See it so often. I think they're sickly predators.
Very good writing and photographs
Nicely written!
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STOPGood post^^
Thank you! xx
I like that post...
Very true !
Hm, interesting story. Now, I am curious to find out what happened next between you two. Did you actually have it all that night? And if you did, how is your relationship the day after? Please write about that next time ;)