5 great tips for avoiding second dates !
Female squirrels never turn down sex - as per this study. So, this brave bachelor has really done wonders to be able to sit quietly by himself like this, while his friends are actively engaged in enhancing the world squirrel population!
I took this picture in Bharatpur sanctuary in India with my Nikon P900. I really wanted to study him in greater detail to understand how he managed to keep ladies off his back!
Take a look at those soulful eyes and the cute face. Think females would not be all over him in an instant? How he keeps them off I wonder - biting and scratching, you think? I really do not know.
However, I have researched the subject of keeping ladies at a safe distance with a lot of hard work and personal experience. Though I have been snared by my lovely wife years ago, I still claim to be the expert on the subject of not attracting ladies and hence am going to share my wisdom here.
Some of us are surely born lucky and do not really have to take efforts to not get trapped in a second date. Many of us, the rich, handsome and young ones especially, get coerced in to a first date and get dragged to future dates. Drawn like a moth to the flame, they end up going on date after date ... ending up MARRYING the lady. What horror!!
For such poor nincompoops, who do not have the courage to look a lady in her eye and say 'NO', here are my 5 tips guaranteed to keep her off your back after the first date. These are things which men naturally have ability to do - all you need to do is to do it in your date's company!
I am going to keep it simple - to avoid confusion and the possibility of making mistakes. After all, this knowledge has to be applied in situations where one's life (future married life actually ~shudder~) is literally at stake! I am also going to use illustrations to make it easy for you.
The Anti-dating guide Tip #1 (The mildest): Take her out to Dinner and make slurping noises as you eat!
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Lick all your fingers and burp loudly for even better effect!
The Anti-dating guide Tip #2: When she wants to go powder her nose, ask "What exactly do you powder in there anyway? "
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This is bound to induce the 'rolling of eyes' effect in the lady. She may never return to the table from the powder room to your table. Score!!
(Note: If this crass joke does not work, I will provide 10 more choices for you to try when you subscribe to the 'Advanced' course by paying 100 SBD)
The Anti-dating guide Tip #3: Take her to watch Star Wars and keep appreciating Leia's boobs!
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For good measure - ask the lady if she would be trying on a Princess Leia costume that you keep in your closet! Do not be surprised if the lady disappears before Princess Leia gets rescued in the movie.
The Anti-dating guide Tip #4: Offer to pick her up from her parent's place and show up wearing the following T-shirt
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For further effective date-repellent, hit on her mother and flaunt your T shirt in front of her.
The date will be over before it starts. Guaranteed to work. Admission to 'Pro' level course free of charge if this tip fails.
The Anti-dating guide Tip #5 (Not for the faint hearted): During the date, start groping the MAN in the next seat!
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Warning - You may end up in a fight with the man or worse still, end up dating him! Either ways though, your date will be over. A million $ would not induce the lady to go on a second date!
There could be tough vixens and bounty hunters that would still want to entrap you in a marriage despite your taking all the five crucial steps mentioned above. Fear not - We have a 'Pro' level course which is now being offered at a one time special discounted rate of 999 SBD. Take the course and you will be 'Pro' at repelling ladies.
In Conclusion:
Be single and ready to mingle - however, don't let the ladies entangle.
Steemians, please comment freely to share your experiences, knowledge and views about your own tips to stay single.Thanks.
Note: All images except for the wildlife photos and the title image created by me are from pixabay.com. For images which are from other sources, sources have been mentioned explicitly below such images.
Note: No offense meant to ladies or anyone. Posted in a lighter vein.
Gif crafted by the Legendary @stellabelle for me
Nice tips i find some really funny thanks for sharing
LOL thats one way to do it I guess!!ππ
Yep - try it out. Works 100% LOL
Instructions unclear, dick stuck in 10 year relationship.
hahaha..!...she will definitely kill you...and squirrel Shot is Magnificent...Excellent photography....India is very beautiful country.. :)
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β₯β₯β₯very well post and This is a very important tips tkank bro for the shering
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I love nature ...https://steemit.com/real/@banglabazz/fear-the-wedding-in-this-way-eenaduindia
Funny. I had to shake my head at #5.
Number 5 is going to be a little hard to me, but I can try.
Great post there, keep up good work !
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Cok gΓΌzel :)
Yep, that would do it for me. I'd probably be skipping out halfway thru the first date...lol
So funny @vm2904, needed a chuckle today, thank you :) No offense taken!
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