THINKING OUT LOUD.

in #life7 years ago

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Photo by Ian Espinosa on Unsplash.

A friend on my Alma mater whatsapp group asked me to tell of my experience with rape. I was writing it on the whatsapp editor then I thought, why not share it on steemit and share the link with them instead, right?


Oh, it was abraka, '04. I had just gained admission into the university and everything was still new and admittedly I had not left my home for such length of time outside my parents' supervision. It was a dream come true. I was free, I could do whatever I wanted to do.

Anyways, I made friends and they loved alcohol as much as I did, back then. Well which dude didn't? We thought we could live forever didn't we? We were hanging out every evening, getting drunk, throwing up, getting stoned and more.

I also made a friend unintentionally. She was a friend of a friend and our mutual friend had warned me to be wary of her but I have never been the one to see bad in people. She just saw me and decided to be in my life, no matter what I said. She would come at odd hours and ask to sleep over because she couldn't go home. I let her in once or twice and God knows I never touched her or made an attempt to touch her. I just wasn't sexually attracted to her.

Well one average weekend, I and my new friends hung out and I got wasted on Star lager. You know these beer, right? I had not learnt to hold my drink then, if you don't mind me. I had three bottles and I was done in. My friends noted my state and decided to close for the night. I was left to head back to my hostel on my lonesome.

On my way, this babe appeared and decided to assist me to my hostel. She opened the door for me and as soon as my back touched the bed, I passed out.


I woke up disoriented, unsure of where I was. I woke up to find my room dark, to find me completely naked and to find a girl I barely knew riding on top of me. I watched in horror then the need to throw up came and she let me go.

I threw up outside and she rubbed my back, gave me water to wash my face and led me back to bed.

For all of my years in school, that singular incident influenced me and I didn't get to date until my second semester of my third year.

Did she apologize? No. We never talked about it. In fact, she started acting as if she owned me. I never told anyone. You know how guys take such things. They would laugh silly at your expense and ask if you didn't enjoy it. Men, right?

Sometimes I wonder if that would be categorized as rape. I had not consented to it after all. If I was a woman, it would be rape wouldn't it? Just thinking out loud.


©warpedpoetic, 2018.


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That's rape pretty much...

Oh it is? Thank you @preciouz

It is equally a rape.

Yeah that's definitely rape, since you were drunk and unconscious. You were unable to consent, it's pretty clear. Sorry that happened to you, you have nothing to be ashamed of!

Thanks @daan. It happened a long time ago so am not really ashamed just wondering about the kind of guy I would have turned out to be if it had never happened and put out the male narrative as well.