When we cry there is an overflow of emotions and it can happen for several reasons. We can weep for joy for a dream come true, tears of relief when we passed a difficult situation, crying in pain, whether physical or emotional, cry when we ask or receive help, tears of sadness ... Whatever the reason, and sometimes not which we know is the cry speaks of something that is overflowing in us. It is natural to the human species and there is a long time, according to the ophthalmologist Juan Murube Del Castillo of the University of Alcalá in Madrid, the most plausible hypothesis is that the cry arose before the spoken language, as a mime expression to communicate pain . We can conclude that the crying came up with the communication function and still communicate when someone is crying automatically know that something went out of control and we tend to give more attention to this. If we are walking down the street and someone passes us crying probably will not go unnoticed, call our attention.
Crying too often uncomfortable, especially when it is related to grief, loss, death, separation, depression. It is common grieve with crying, so when we cry, especially in public, as witnessed when someone's crying because we can not know how to deal with it. But if the crying existed for so long between us because wonder at?
Crying and vulnerability
Crying is often interpreted as a demonstration of vulnerability. When someone cries you feel exposed in their fragility, so people often prefer to seek a place to cry alone. Another point is the overreaction that crying causes the people around. Who's crying often do not want to cause all this reaction, only seeks to express his emotion with confidence. Often I get in the office people who want your time to cry and enjoy the space of psychotherapy for this, because they do not feel the urge to cry elsewhere or with other people, even if they are friends or family.
To cry is very therapeutic. When we find space and understanding the other for this important moment, without causing fanfare or judgments, it generates a great comfort and relief, the sensitized person can think better and move more relaxed after a moment like this. Sometimes only able to cry a little and put out the repressed emotions, the person recovers welfare.
But what happens is that every time we give less room for honest expression of emotions. When someone cries near us what usually we say? "Stop it! You are strong! Do not think about it! Clean that face! Soon it goes! "Without realizing we are all the time denying crying and suffering of others and it does not legitimize the feeling, do not allow something natural for us to find space in life. And why do it? Because we are afraid, afraid of something out of control, fear of what may come in crying and suffering of the other, fear of our own crying and suffering. What many of us do not know is that emotions find space to express whether we give permission or not. This means that if I "swallow crying" at a time, at another time that emotion will seek a way to show either a sore throat or aggression with someone close. I think to avoid crying are avoiding emotion, but it's not how it works.
How can we change this?
Crying when it's just a way of getting attention and for the other to solve our problem is undoubtedly an immature behavior. When we grow we develop more efficient resources to cope with difficulties and it is important that to happen, because it shows maturity and improves quality of life. However, we are all affected by emotions, regardless of age, and it is natural that sometimes emotions take us completely bring us to tears. When this happens to you remember that crying is a natural reaction and it helps in the release of emotional tension. Allow yourself to also look at the emotion, see what's behind it, seek a way to express it without self punish for it.
Without someone crying near you, offer shoulder, a tissue paper, a knowing look, a hug. Listen, wait, recognize and, if necessary, say "can cry, I understand" or "I'm here with you, feel free to let you see what you want." This is an action that, besides being beautiful, is extremely therapeutic and collaborating with a more tolerant world with emotions, whether they are. We are not as rational as we think, we are moved by emotion and seek for it. Let emotions transpires in us is to be more tolerant and human with us and the world.
And we can also cry with happiness!