School bullying: A teens experience

in #life7 years ago (edited)

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If you don't fit, you need fixing

The following story is a true story

I'm 15, I attend a catholic high school and I just don't fit in. I have only one close friend like me he doesn't believe in the rules, the religion or the way the other students treat each other, however he wants to fit in because he wants to be more popular. I have no desire to be popular. I don't want to be like the other students because I don't like the people they are becoming. My recess and lunch break is spent sitting silently with a group of nasty and disrespectful students. I hang with them because that is where my friend wants to be and I don't want to be on my own. They like to call each other disgusting names, slap each other hard on the bum, throw hats and shoes on the roof or in the bin, pull each others pants down, make fun of how others talk. They find this amusing. I don't find it amusing, so I try to stand in the background and not be noticed, doesn't always work.

Once I tried to fit in, one of the boys grabbed my shoe and the other boys pressured me into getting it off of him by being violent. I got my shoe back after physically hurting him. I know how to fight, I've been learning martial arts since I was 8. I felt so bad after, even after I apologised I still felt guilty. What I did went against everything I believed in. I learn martial arts because I love the art form and to use as self defence if I am physically threatened, not because some stupid kid stole my shoe and because of peer group pressure. There was one other time I succumed to peer group pressure,( mostly because I was at the wrong place at the wrong time). We had a school assembly I had to quickly go to the toilet, when I got to the toilet my best friend and some other boys were in there. They had decided to wag the assembly so they convinced me to stay. I didn't want to but my best friend was there and the other boys were really giving me a hard time, so I stayed. We were caught, which wasn't so much an issue for me because I knew my parents would be understanding. I found out the assembly was about helping poor and disadvantaged people in third world countries, this made me feel really bad because it's a subject that's important to me.

Due to being around such horrible peers, I now suffer with social anxiety, I find it really hard to mix with others. I also struggle to concentrate and focus in class because I have a slight learning disability and because of the noise and the distraction created by the unruly students. As a result it's having an affect on my grades.
Bullying from my early years at school made me less sociable, so I've had counselling on and off since I was 7. My learning disability has been assessed several times. With every assessment they found that in most areas I was actually academically above average for my age. My learning problem is worsened by distraction and emotions. Teachers advised my parents to take me to a behavioural optometrist, this is when we discovered I have a processing disorder. This means it takes me longer to process information and distractions and noise only make it worst. Apparently there are quite a few students at my school with this disorder.

I am so tired of people thinking because I'm different, I need fixing, when I believe that school and society are what really need fixing. So many of us learn differently and traditional school methods don't work for everyone. The school needs fixing. The school needs to be educated in alternative methods of teaching. The way they are teaching now is not working for many of us. They have to know this. Allowing students to be noisy and unruly in class is another thing they need to change. The disrespectful and cruel way Students are treating and talking to each other needs to be stopped.

We should be wanting a society where people are respectful, compassionate and understanding towards each other .It needs to be fixed. I guess it's a too big of a job to fix these things, so it's much easier to say that I'm the one who needs fixing. "He needs toughening up if he's going to survive in this world, He needs to learn how to deal with the criticism, the name calling, the harassment, the distractions, the noise." I disagree, It's society and the school system that needs fixing not the good guy that wants the world to be a better place.

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Link: https://www.buckfirelaw.com/library/student-bullying-in-united-states-statistics-and-facts.cfm

Statistics:
Verbal bullying (this includes mental bullying) is the most common type with around 77 percent of students at sometime being victims. 14 percent of the 77 react badly to the bullying and will suffer from poor self esteem, anxiety and depression which could result in suicidal thoughts. Around one in five students admit to being bully's. It is also believed violence has increased in many schools. In many cases no intervention is made by the school.

link: http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/school-bullying-statistics.html

This is happening to our children, the ones we love more than anything in life, the young innocent ones we are suppose to protect.

So many times have I heard excuses like "oh well, boys will be boys! they will soon learn for themselves! It's survival of the strongest in this world! It will make the weak stronger!" Parents need to start taking responsibility for their child's bad behaviour and stop making excuses for this behaviour, set themselves up as a good role model and when they need to, be there for them. Parents, Carers, teachers all those involved in the life of a youth need to intervene when they see them doing or saying something wrong. We need to educate our youth on what is right and what is wrong so we can make this world a safer and happier place for future generations.

Sort:  

monitor, counsel & then suspend the bully

Wish all schools would work that way

We all got to tell the schools & governments to work that way.

Hi! @what-is-life, thanks for posting your friend's testimony about bullying. Can I also share the story for a charity project? Here's the link about it:

Love D'Unloved [True Stories Collection]

You certainly can. Best of luck with your charity project.

Thank you so much. I'm adding it to the true stories collection. Do you have the alias or initials of your friend? (so that it won't appear anonymous)

Sure you can use the name B. Lee

Thank you so much, @what-is-life.

If you know anyone or need anything for crowdfunding, please feel free to contact us in Fundition.

Your welcome!

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@what-is-life, excellent post. Bringing awareness to a serious issue. Your post is well written and articulate, especially with the statistics and personal experience. You should write often, and this is a great place for it.
On a personal note, being forced to physically hurt someone else in order to get out of a situation is NOT YOUR FAULT. You were forced into something. You needed to do what you had to to get out. Do not feel guilty about that. However, apologizing was a GOOD THING! :)
I have a 14 year old and I too was bullied, so I can relate.
I was kicked and pushed and had a very malicious rumor spread about me in 7th grade. It took until 9th grade for people not to believe this rumor about me anymore. So yes, bullying IS horrible.
However, you're in a very difficult time in life and THIS WILL END. Think about it: when you are out of high school, you will be going to a different school or environment, away from all of these people, around adults who do not act like this. You will have a fresh start. So PLEASE, PLEASE remember that this is only temporary.
You have got to get yourself connected with folks who can relate and help you during this time. Don't get bitter about this either. These stupid kids are literally that.....stupid. They see a weakness in you and are exploiting it. As hard as it may be, try to let them NOT see that it bothers you. Make jokes at YOUR expense. Not horrible ones, just be lighthearted. Let them think that you can take a joke and that bullying you won't affect you. They WANT to make it affect you.
Either way, I applaud your post and YOU!
I would highly recommend sharing your photo instead of a clip art or meme. Folks want to relate and personalize your experience by seeing what you look like.
Best of luck to you. :)

Tari

(upvoted, resteemed, and following you)

This post isn't about me but someone I am very close to. Thank you for your kind words, I will make sure he reads this, I know he will appreciate the support. More people need to tell their stories of bullying, too many keep it to themselves, which can be very damaging. We can't help someone if we aren't aware of the situation. I highly encourage anyone that is being bullied to please tell someone.