It’s really amazing how our desires are sometimes tainted by insecurities, shame, self doubt and resentment. Addictions and compulsive behaviors are always a sign that there is some healing that needs to be done and it’s awesome that you are giving yourself that.
I took two years off to do some self-healing and I came out totally transformed. I used to try to slight other people and come out on top of every situation by any means neccesary while patting myself on the back for any good deed and tellin* myself I was a good person when I was anything but. I was filled with self doubt and shame about being different and it had built up over years of hiding my desire to just be an artist and also feeling like I had failed myself. I don’t think I had any emotional issues stemming from ideas about sex but all that insecurity influenced those desires in a big way, led to compulsive thoughts, and also made me less honest and sincere with others than I wanted to be. This stressed caused by being who I wasn’t caused all kinds of physical problems that I am currently healing from.
You are doing great!