Loss of my mother - my amazing girlfriend - MY STORY - {Poem}

IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND YOUR MOTHER IS STILL HERE......HUG AND LOVE HER.....BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THE END WILL COME........whatever issues you have with each other PUT THAT IN THE PAST AND LOVE EACH OTHER........

What I'm going to share here is so hard for me. I recently lost my mother to breast cancer and I can tell you that this is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.

Here is the picture I took from her bedside as she silently passed into the night......I simply held her hand and told her I loved her. The end came quicker than I could ever imagine and I felt like I was in the worst movie ever. How could she be gone so fast?

My mother was a special woman. She raised me proper and has given me all of the fruits of her great love for me. I have a great heart and drive because of my mother. She was at the center of my universe. I will never forget her, and will love her always.

Here we were only month's before in New York City.

After she passed I was a mess, and felt so alone. What I learned in her passing is that so many people you would never expect reach out to you and help you ease the pain of death. Another woman came into my life who has survived breast cancer, and gave me the greatest love and support I have ever been given outside of the love shown to me by my mother.

Her name was Betsy. This is a photo of us together. In many ways I feel like she saved my life. She gave me hope and more reason to live when I was in the darkest place ever at the loss of my mother.

This is the poem I wrote to her:

Who You've Been To Me.

In my darkest hour you came into my life
The blackness of the cancer; the struggle and the strife

Your warm calls kept me snuggled;
I hang on every word
Will life just fly away dear Betsy; to escape just like the bird?

I live my story while you gently hold my hand
Do I have the strength dear Betsy; to become a better man?

You have your own life story; to which I become a part
Our paths have intersected; forever in my heart

Who you have been to be; is an angel from above
How can this stranger; be filled with so much love?

She is no stranger now; I have shared with her my world
I cant believe she cares for me as my life becomes unfurled.

I am fairly certain that I don't know whats to come
I wish to remain present; despite tears that everrun

Who you have been to me; the sunshine inside my night
A kindling of fire you are; who gives me hope from fright.

Life brings so many questions; I dont know where to start
How was it you came to me;
to touch my broken heart?

Not sure I have the answer; but by grace from up above
As my mother looks upon me; and shines down all her love

If you are dealing with cancer or the loss of a loved one I'm writing now to share with you that there is hope. It feels so dark and that there is no way out but the only way to live and love is to keep your hope alive. Find beauty in a flower, or coffee with a friend, and all of the simple things.

Before my mother passed she left me with a large reminder. I asked her 'Mom....please leave me with something to remember that I will never forget....about what you learned on this earth...'

She said to me this in some of her last breaths. "LOVE DOESN'T DO : MORE, BETTER, OR DIFFERENT"

I sat with this for months and have come to understand it's meaning. If you have a child and the child is short....would your love increase if the child was TALLER? The answer to this is NO. The condition of your love isn't dependent on something being MORE THAN IT IS....BETTER THAN IT IS.....OR DIFFERENT THAN IT IS.....

LOVE IS.

That is the point of what she was trying to tell me. JUST BE. LOVE IS. If you truly love someone or something you don't wish for it to be more, better, or different than what it is........you love it in the state that it is in.....

I have a friend who has an autistic child. Her love for her child is immense. If her child can speak or not speak it doesn't change her love for her child. Maybe things could be easier if things were DIFFERENT.....but.......

LOVE DOESN'T DO : MORE, BETTER, OR DIFFERENT

I have taken these words with me an have applied them to my life. I share them here with you today so that this message can also be heard. If you are sitting in a place now where you are wishing for things to be MORE : BETTER : OR DIFFERENT........most likely you are living outside of the principles of LOVE.....and simply BEING in the state where you are.....WITH FULL ACCEPTANCE that this is an OK PLACE TO BE......

Thanks for listening STEEMIT community.