Holding on for dear life in the face of adversity

I spent most of the morning checking up on my Crypto currency trading positions, probably thinking the same as most people in this field, "when is the next bull run coming?" . While bitcoin was racing up at the back end of last year and the rest of the alt coins were charging there was a real carnival atmosphere among the community as prices raged ever higher and there looked to be no end to the massive amounts of money that everyone was already spending in their heads.

Lamborgini started accepting bitcoin as payment and vast numbers of people were choosing what model and color they would be purchasing with their new found wealth, sparking the hashtag #cryptolambo , and then came the crash. 2018 has been a tough year for cryptocurrencies so far, and as fast as the prices went up, sure enough they came back down to earth with a bump leaving lots of people trapped in negative positions praying for a return to the glory times of 7 months previous.

Of course there were a few experienced traders that got out in time, or shorted the market, but for the majority of people, this was their first experience with cryptocurrency, for a large number it may have been their first experience with any stock market investment, indeed one of the reasons for the huge increase in prices at the end of 2017 was the massive influx of new money coming into the market.

The market is very much like life, it is brutal out there and however clever you think you are there will always be times when it chews you up and spits you out, it will humble you and force you to re-look your decisions past , present and future.

This current situation in the crypto market takes me back to a time when life was the hardest it has ever been for me, and a photo that I took at the time when it seemed that all hope was lost.

I can't really complain about the life I have had, it has certainly been an interesting one. Growing up with physically and emotionally abusive parents was tough, but from a young age I always tried to see things in perspective. During the 80's the television screen was awash with images of pain and suffering, from the famine in Ethiopia, to the conflicts in the middle east and the struggles of East Germany before the Berlin wall came down, to name just a few instances. I always kept in mind that the vast majority of the worlds population was living in far worse conditions than I was, something that we may all do well to remember as we curse our luck in the crypto market while viewing our ever worsening positions on expensive smart phones, laptops and desktop computers via high speed internet.

At the time I was living in St Pauls London, right in between the Cathedral and Smithfield market, I have lived in may parts of London over the years and this area is one of the most underrated locations, real old school London, one of the nicest locations I have ever spent my time. I had also found the love of my life and we were busy building our future together.

I had just sold my shares in the companies I had spent the last 20 years building, so money wasn't an issue and I thought that the fallout from the divorce that had concluded 4 years earlier was finally starting to die down to an acceptable level of aggravation from my ex wife. I saw my then 9 year old daughter 50% of the time so I had a perfect balance between being a father and having time to pursue my own interests, and my daughter was finally coming to terms with what had happened between her mother and I. She loved spending time in London and was very fond of my new partner.

Then all hell broke loose as the abusive parents that I grew up with teamed up with my ex wife in an effort to take my daughter away from me. I'll probably go into this in detail in a future post, divorce is often a horrible experience for everyone involved, especially children and it is common ( about 1/3 of cases) where a child loses contact permanently with their fathers after a divorce. I had enjoyed 50% contact for four years after the divorce was completed so it was particularly hard for me. I spent the next two and a half years chasing my ex wife through an incompetent court system that did nothing to stop her from breaking contact orders and poisoning my daughter against me over time.

But I digress I'll probably go into this in more detail another time, whenever I feel down, going for a walk always seems to help so I set off with my camera that day with no particular plans, I am certainly not a good photographer, but I thought it would give me something to do to take my mind off things. The Barbican centre was right around the corner from where I lived and if you haven't visited this place, next time you are in London, add it to your "to do" list. It was under this tunnel that I spotted the plant...

Yes the Barbican centre is an absolute concrete monstrosity that caused huge controversy when it was built during the 60's and 80's. It is a huge sprawling estate and really has to be seen and explored to be appreciated, these days it holds numerous art and music exhibitions and performances and is a great place to hang out and do some work on the laptop with loads of free working space and Wifi.

On seeing this plant struggling for survival with no natural light or soil to speak of in one of the busiest, traffic heavy and polluted areas of the city, stuck in a tunnel with constant traffic fumes, I asked myself, would I want to swap situations? The sheer doggedness of this plant hit a chord with me and sometimes it is little things like this in nature that I really draw inspiration from.

It flicked a switch in my head and from there, my mindset switched from negative to positive and all I could think of was the slice of cheesecake that I would be eating when I got to the Barbican.

The point of this long, rambling post is that ultimately we are responsible for our feelings, circumstances get worse they get better, people come in and out of your life like seasons and most of them will not stay the course. Tomorrow will come around and the world will continue to turn, help and inspiration will come from unexpected places at unexpected times if you are open to receive it and if all else fails there will always be cheesecake!!!

Time for another walk in completely different surroundings, visiting the past like this is a double edged sword, both therapeutic and a horrible reminder that I no longer know my beautiful daughter. I hope everyone's day is as good as it can be and look forward to reading your comments when I get back.

Take care of yourselves,

Will.